paradisa | 134.0

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134.0

[The castle has really got to stop with this turning York into a toy business. It's starting to get annoying.]

[Filtered away from anyone who would use this information for harm]

What the hell is everyone talking about? Did something happen? I've been, uh, out of it for a couple weeks. Anyone mind giving me a hand here?

[Carolina]

Hey. Sorry about that. You okay?

((ooc: Since the distress call was over the radio, it didn't get recorded on the journals so what expedition?))

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Shit happened. People are in trouble. Blah blah blah. No way in hell you're getting me out there.

[She still has nightmares from the last (and only) time she was on an expedition.]

Compassionate as usual, I see.

You going to help on castle defense, then?

[South offers a little Pft. Yup, heart of gold, that's her.]

What, you think we need it?

Not really. But some people seem concerned that something else will attack while other people are out helping.

[He's not really sure why - there are always enough people who can't or won't leave the castle to keep it well defended.]

Yeah fine, I guess I'll keep an eye out. You going or staying?

Going. I did join the army to help save the human race from aliens, you know.

Yeah so did I. Worked out great didn't it? [Okay that's a little sharper tone than she'd intended.]

And yet, here are some aliens attacking people.

Have fun with all the nostalgia. I'd be useless anyway, remember? No bullets.

[Not that you can't kick someone's face in, South, but while she wouldn't mind the action, the trip itself and the memories of the last one weren't exactly inspiring.]

You and I both know that doesn't make you "useless", but if that's what you want to believe, go ahead and stay.

Ugh. [She can't fool you, can she?]

As if I'd want to go on another nausea-inducing cross-country jaunt. I've had enough of those to last me a long while.

[Hey, he has a decent bullshit meter. Not the best, but decent.]

So you don't want to see the farm where I had to be a cowboy for a week, huh? Should I at least get you a souvenir hat?

[Well okay and she wasn't being subtle, really.]

A hat sounds good. Nice solid Stetson, yeah? Something like?

You got it. And maybe a Bowie knife, since revolvers are off the menu.

Oh god yes, that'd be perfect.

[Guy's getting her a knife? And she doesn't owe him anything?] So ... you and Carolina, she still being Bitch Of The Year?

[York pauses for a moment. Is South hitting on him?]

She's trying a little harder than she was, but she's not exactly the person she used to be.

That's for sure. She actually gave a shit before. Now she's just some hypocritical bitch on a powertrip.

She's desperate, South, and she was hurt very badly. Not that that's an excuse, but it's a little bit of the reason why. I've been trying to bring her back, show she can trust people again, but--well. You can see how well that's working.

Yeah, as in it's not. Did you see the way she was ordering that 'non argumentative' meeting bullshit? Should have let her just sulk out in the dead zone.

At least then she wasn't dragging anyone down with her.

[South's feeling particularly bitter towards Carolina, since she only ever gets try harder, as if none of what she's already done actually matters.]

I don't think she even knows how to ask anymore. About anything.

[York sighs; it's been wearing down on him a lot to try and keep up with her, especially for the almost no results he seems to get.]

But nobody else seems to be trying to help, so.

[South growls in frustration. There's that damned word again. She answers fervently.]

As if it would matter. She doesn't see shit she doesn't want to admit to.

She sees it. And if she sees it often enough, she admits to it.

...I think.

[Guess what, York, you've opened the floodgates.]

She doesn't. She doesn't. You think she's noticed anything I've done? You think -- you think she's seen how I haven't wanted to beat up Wash lately or that you and I are talking? Yeah? Because all I get from her is 'you're not trying, try harder, try harder' like nothing I do is ever good enough.

I don't care what she thinks anymore, I'm done. Fuck her. She keeps saying the team is fucked but she hasn't noticed we're fine.

[York listens quietly. That's unfortunately a pretty accurate description of how Carolina's been acting recently.]

Well, it's hard to see how you haven't wanted to beat someone up lately, but I see your point. Her problem is that it's really hard for her to look beyond herself--and she's right that she is fucked up. To her that means the whole team is shot. And she doesn't give me any breaks, that's for damn sure.

I've asked myself more than once why I still bother.

So, unless she's in charge of us we're basically worthless? That's good to know.

[She falls into a defeated silence for a moment, not for the first time missing the Carolina from before who had cared about her as a person, and not some subordinate she could order around.]

Why do you?

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