paradisa | Syntax Error 36

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dairine callahan

Syntax Error 36

[Filtered away from Conan and anyone who might hurt him]

Psst... Hey, guys. Mind doing me a favor? Did you hear that mopey kid rambling on about Holmes and Reichenbach?

If you didn't, it's on the page before this one. [She even writes down a page number just in case.]

For those of you who don't know him, his name is Conan Edogawa, and today is his birthday! Poor kid has been feeling pretty down lately though, and it seems his mood isn't much better today. So I'd appreciate it if you could do a little something to mark the occasion. It doesn't have to be much ― just something to let him know we care. [Because clearly that's what he wants. ~~Not really.~~ But this is not just a prime trolling opportunity (though that's certainly a plus). Dairine really wants Conan to feel better, even just a little. So she adds as sweetly as possible.]

After all, it would be such a shame for someone his age to be sad on his birthday, right?

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Already on it, little filly.

[Part of Dairine wants to object to that pet name really badly. But she's been here a while and has seen some of the more interesting residents before, so she wants to check before she assumes.]

Good. ...Are you a pony by any chance?

Sure am! I take it you met some of the ponies who came before me.

Sort of. [She certainly saw them. Talked to them a little too. But...]

We weren't exactly close though.

That's okay neiher am I. I'm a loner.

Um... [Wha-t? That sure was... frank. She's not sure if she's supposed to offer condolences or something, but he doesn't seem that broken up about it. Dairine struggles to find the right words to say.]

Any reason for it?

[Thanks to a foalhood of crippling shyness which led to loneliness and social skill issues he still carries with him to adulthood. Of course, Cheese doesn't say this, instead giving one of his many tried and true answers instead.]

I just like my own company. I can travel all over then, with just the wind in my mane, and the ground under my hooves.

...Oh, I do have Boneless 2, though. He travels with me.

Ah. I see.

[She shouldn't ask, she probably is prying too much, but on the other hand her curiosity is biting her.]

Is... Boneless 2... a friend? [What a weird name. Even for Dairine that seems like a weird name, and she's seen her share of unusual things.]

He sure is! He's my rubber chicken. He's pretty new to the travelling gig, for years I had Boneless with me, but I left him to my best friend, because I think she needed him more.

[He says this as if it makes perfect sense to him, and that it should to her.]

[It's a good thing that the journals don't have video, because Dairine has an expression that's a whole new level of "what the everloving hell." She's heard some strange things since her friends are an alien giant bug and walking tree... but this might take the cake. What does she even say after that??

She employs her casual talk voice, the one she uses when something makes no sense to her but she doesn't want to be impolite. Very useful in intergalactic meetings.]

That's... nice. Was Boneless also a rubber chicken?

[The casual tone seems to work, Cheese appears none the wiser.]

He sure is. [Also a mystical key, but Cheese doesn't know that.] He was my best friend when I was growing up, I took him everywhere with me.

[It takes all of Dairine's strength to remind herself that just because she thinks this is a hundred different kinds of weird, does not mean it seems weird for other people. Cultural differences. Do. not. laugh.]

I see. You must have been close.

We were. But I know Pinkie Pie needed him more. She's my best friend now, so I got a pretty darn good trade in, there.

I guess so. Where does she live, if she's not traveling with you?

Ponyville, it's a pretty neat little town, not too far from Canterlot. [He says as if she would know where these places are.]

[...The ponies have towns.]

Ah. [Keep it cool. Just act natural.] How far is "not too far?"

Ohhh a couple hours on the train, I'd say, maybe about six or so on hoof. [They have trains, too.]

[She's not paid enough for this. In fact, she's not paid at all.]

Walking or galloping?

Walking. Gosh, if you tried to gallop all the way there, you'd be tuckered out. Canterlot's up on top of a mountain.

I guess so. Are there many mountains in your world?

Oh, sure, there's a lot of them. There's all kinds of terrain, really. It all depends on where you go in the kingdom.

Huh. That's a lot like Earth really. We've got lots of variety.

Is there more than one kingdom on your world?

Really? That's pretty neat!

Yuh-huh. The dragons and the griffons have their own kingdoms, too.

Oh my god, it's Conan-kun's birthday already?!

[She totally forgot! She's been so distracted by everything else happening, and just...

Oh no, she's a terrible neechan...]

It is! Time sure flies, doesn't it?

[Don't worry about it, Rise. Dairine would have forgot if not for Conan reminding her.]

[He must have secretly wanted this to happen, then. Unless it's just that for a smart kid, he's not too bright.]

I can't believe it's been a whole year... it's way too late to throw him a party now! I'll have to do something to make it up to him...

[... And hey, since she's here...]

You know him pretty well, right? Can you think of anything he might really want that he wouldn't just wish for?

Yeah, well, he has been pretty quiet about it.

[Privately she thinks that what he would probably like best would be everyone leaving him alone. BUT that isn't what would be best for him, in her mind, so no way is she suggesting that.]

I don't think he wishes for much, honestly. However, if there is something he would really want, it would be for his friends to be close by.

[What she really means is that he'd like his friends back home here. But a little shading of the truth can't hurt, especially if it'll mean more people keeping him company.]

Pretty typical for him, huh?

[She'd think someone like Conan would be really happy about getting older. But then, he's also not getting any older while he's here. Maybe that's why he keeps so quiet about it...]

Oh, well... maybe it'll be enough just to spend a little time together! He can't be so serious all the time...

It really is.

[Honestly, he can be so annoying sometimes. She can get why aging would be a sore spot for him, but birthdays are supposed to be a day you enjoy yourself.

"He really can be that serious all the time." Dairine half opens her mouth to say it before she thinks to stop herself.]

I'm sure he'll appreciate it, even if he doesn't say so.

...Though he might also like to get some kind of gift as well. Something about Holmes, for example.

Oooh, right!

[A gift....... hmmmm...]

I gave him that funny-looking hat last year... and he probably already has a magnifying glass, huh?

I wonder what else he'd like...?

[If the world depended on Rise Kujikawa knowing anything but the most stereotypical things associated with Sherlock Holmes, it would be doomed.]

Honestly, I don't think he minds duplicates that much. Have you ever seen his book collection? It's almost ridiculous.

However, I'm sure there are other possibilities if you think outside the box.

[Dairine, please. Rise doesn't even know what box she's supposed to be thinking in, let alone what's outside it.]

He has a book collection, too...?

[Yeah. Could she possibly sound any more clueless right now?]

[Yeah, so she gathers.]

Yup. A rather impressive one. Lots of different languages and editions.

[Different languages, huh...?]

Oh!

[Suddenly an idea strikes!]

Does he have any in Japanese or English?

[... No one said it was a good idea. Why wouldn't he have them in his own language and the original language they were written in?]

Yeah, I think so. [Multiple copies, in fact.]

I can check to see what editions he has of those languages if you'd like, though.

[After all, sneaking in to check wouldn't be too hard.]

Could you really? I'm already late, I don't wanna give him something he already has...

[If a different edition of a book he already has is still different to Conan, that makes things a lot easier for her! As weird as she thinks it is.]

Sure. One moment...

[There's a quiet pop! as Dairine transits directly into Conan's room, journal in hand. She walks over to his bookshelf and starts reading.]

Um... It doesn't look too promising. [How many books does he even have??]

Well, he can't have them all...

[Clearly, she doesn't know Conan that well. She should probably be questioning how Dairine is checking so quickly, too, but this doesn't seem to be the time.]

Well, he doesn't seem to have any picture book versions here...

Ooh, really?

[There's an idea. Picture books or activity books or something...]

I guess he's a little old for some picture books, but it should be okay if it's for his collection, right?

[He's not that old, after all! (As far as she knows.)]

I'm sure it'll be fine.

[He'll live with it if it's Holmes. Of course, he'd probably send her dirty looks if he knew she was giving this the OK.]

Perfect! Thanks a lot, Dairine-san!!!

[It'll be a little late, yes, but at least she'll have some way of acknowledging his birthday. ... She may credit Dairine with the idea, too, only time will tell...]

No problem.

[She'll know if Rise credits her. Dairine's sure of it.]

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