(no subject)

[caligulas_aquarium]

[So, he'll start off writing...]

this is actually fuckin ridiculous yet in a wway completely an utterly hilarious
youre all just freakin out cause the sun didnt rise an the lights arent wworkin
oh boo hoo our precious ball a lights gone an abandoned us
wwhale tough fuckin luck to evveryone wwho relies on a ball a plasma an magnetic fields so much they cant handle it wwhen it doesnt brighten up their day
im perfectly comfortable in this kinda envvironment thats wwhat they call superior genetic evvolution or somethin

[But wait, what's that noise? It almost sounds like it's nearby. As he speaks, the journal makes sure everyone can hear him.]

Wwhat the fuck is that?

[It's almost like...]

Uh...

[A really familiar sound...]

...

[...dead silence, everyone...]

OH GOD NO!!

[Of course it's all just castle induced paranoia, but he was sure he just heard the sound of a chainsaw revving in the distance. In a panic he's flipped his table, which the journal was sitting on, and shrieked in a pretty high pitched tone of voice.

Also if by some chance you're going to check up on him, he's cowering on the floor. Happy friday the 13th y'all.]

Comments

[journal]

[fluthlu]

[There's basically no way Rose isn't going to chuckle darkly at Eridan's expense.]

My, what steadfast, unruffled bravery.

[caligulas_aquarium]

Hey, if I had my fuckin' science wwand wwith me I wwould havve nothin' to fuckin' fear from anythin'.

I'm just a little vvulnerable right noww therefore my nervvousness is completely fuckin' justified.

[fluthlu]

Oh, of course. Your screams of abject terror were completely founded, considering that mere apparitions are just about as dangerous as they come.

[caligulas_aquarium]

Look, it doesn't fuckin' matter if they're apparitions or not okay they could easily be someone lookin' to target me wwhile I'm defenseless.

Usin' this wwhole castle bullshit magic nonsense as a wway to covver their advvancin'.

The day I get too passivve is the day I fuckin' croak okay I knoww it. Gotta keep my guard up literally all the livve long fuckin' day.

You wwouldn't understand that so dont evven think you can sit there judgin' me wwhen you don't evven get it an' nevver wwill.

[fluthlu]

As sympathetic as I would be towards someone with such dastardly intentions, I am a bit lost at why you seem to think that the concept of keeping one's guard up is alien to me. Do you think that I've made it through SBURB thus far by skipping merrily and brushing my surroundings aside as meaningless scenery?

[caligulas_aquarium]

I wwouldn't be surprised in all honesty I doubt your fuckin' human game wwas evven half as fuckin' terrible as mine wwas.

Plus I doubt any a' your fuckin' human friends are out to do you in here anywway so.

[Of course none of his troll friends are but...well, paranoid as fuck.]

Hard to knoww wwho to evven trust on my part, my entire cycle is just one fuckin' clusterfuck a' I don't evven knoww wwhat to call it.

There's not a wword bad enough to describe it wwith.

[fluthlu]

No, I can't say that any of my human friends are planning to brutally murder me, to my knowledge. But good gracious, with your spotless track record, what do you have to be afraid of? I'm sure that no one would dare to crush such an innocent babe of a young boy.

[Positively dripping in sarcasm.]

[caligulas_aquarium]

Exactly, it's totally fuckin' unfounded.

I mean they wwon't evve--hey, wwait a fuckin' second, this isn't that human sarcasm thing is it.

Cause that pisses me off to no end don't fuckin' do that.

[fluthlu]

Guilty as charged. My apologies, it's a habit I just can't seem to rid myself of.

[Clearly insinuating that she's not sorry at all.]

[caligulas_aquarium]

...alright, wwhatevver, just cut it out.

Hey, wwait, unless this is more a' that human sarcasm stuff an' you're just messin' wwith me.

[fluthlu]

Of course not, I was being completely sincere. I do seem to have a bit of an uncontrolled affinity for scathing sarcasm.

[caligulas_aquarium]

Uncontrolled? I wwasn't awware it wwas some kinda unintentional thing.

I thought you all just did it purposefully for the sake a' bein' difficult to deal wwith.

[fluthlu]

Oh, certainly. I've ingrained the habit so far into my mannerisms that I have even begun to dream in scathing, sarcastic remarks.

[She's doing an excellent job of hiding the fact that she's on the verge of bursting out laughing.]

[caligulas_aquarium]

Wwhat the absolute fuck.

This is startin' to sound like some kinda mental illness.

[fluthlu]

Oh quite! I wouldn't dream of wishing it on anybody.

[caligulas_aquarium]

Wwell sucks to be you then.

Guess it's just another sign a' trolls havvin' the edge ovver you humans, not succumbin' to stupid diseases like that an' wwhat havve you.

[fluthlu]

Trolls don't have diseases?

[Oops she's kind of vaguely interested to know if that was just baseless bragging or not.]

[caligulas_aquarium]

Wwhat, no, a course wwe do it's just that our illnesses aren't fuckin' stupid.

After all it takes a real fuckin' tool of a race to mistake friendship for somethin' other than a sickness.

Hint hint you guys.

So god knows wwhat other fuckin' mistakes you'vve already made.

[fluthlu]

You're right, our immune systems simply cannot resist the draw of pleasant companionship. Now excuse me, I believe I'm a few months late for my yearly vaccine.