paradisa | (no subject)

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eridan ampora

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[Hey Paradisa, know what isn't the greatest thing to wake up to? A temp loss, especially when it's your first.

Know what's worse? When it appears you've woken up to find you look and sound exactly like someone you know ~~quite well~~ the point is it's a pretty troubling experience.

So naturally Eridan is going to spend quite some time quietly freaking the fuck out in is room. Eventually though he's going to have to ask someone about this.

But god knows all of those idiots who claim it's magic are going to jump at this, since there is no way in hell he could deny this is some kind of nonsensical magic bullshit.

So gotta be very, very careful about this.

LOT OF WRITING TO DO cause dictating is weird and as of now not something he wants to do]

[His writing is a little hurried, and sloppy, but damnit answers now people!!!]

yeah so knoww wwhen this castle fucks wwith you somehoww
like someone i knoww wwoke up the other day as a fuckin hoofbeast an apparently it wwont last too long that kinda thing
yeah howw the fuck does this actually happen howw long does it last howw
wwell
basically wwhat the fuck is goin on

[Yep always gonna run off to you for answers.]

okay heres the thing
need you in my room like right noww there is no time to wwaste
an i get youre gonna be all oh eridan wwhat the fuck is the matter
an youre bein considerate an thats real nice a you an all but dont just savve it
wwe can discuss it once you get here but right noww there is definitely somethin the matter an i havve no idea wwhat the fuck to do
the door is open so just come in dont evven knock

[As for everyone else...]

to evveryone wwho wwas thinkin a comin anywwhere near me today dont
all a you fuck off
im really busy and interruptions are not wwhat i need right noww

[IT'S PERFECT. NOT CONSPICUOUS AT ALL!]

[ooc: Temp loss between Eridan and Feferi! They're gonna swap bodies starting today, the 18th, for a full week. Hope this is...y'know okay loss wise or whatever if I've screwed up somehow I'll just...delete this.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[sndhsib;f; okay maybe he isn't even too sure himself]

Well fuck it'd be great if you could tell me what the fuck is goin' on here.

[He sort've knows already about temp losses but...fuck just he needs to be distracted. Or something.

Anything as long as he doesn't have to focus on this situation.]

Really, spare no detail. Take as long as you need Kanj.

Looks like one of those changes I keep gettin' told about. Pretty sure that if they can change you into a human, however this place does that, they can make you look like someone else for a while too.

[He shifts, and he is blushing a bit, because, well, maybe part of the reason Eridan is freaking is... well, Feferi's a girl.]

How're you handling it so far? Being different. Uh, maybe doing something you usually do that you like doing will help? You know, find familiar shit to balance out the unfamiliar.

[Ugh, he expected that answer, he shouldn't feel so disappointed to hear it.

He'll sort've drop into a seated position onto his couch and sigh, shrugging a little.]

It's not entirely bad or that different really I mean, it's about ten times more preferable over being human again.

[Slight pause.]

No offense.

Somethin' about it is just really making me feel...odd. But it's a different kinda odd over suddenly realizing you're not yourself anymore.

An' to be honest right now all I want to do is for everyone to fuck off...'cept you, I mean, I wouldn't ask you to come over and then make you leave that'd be fuckin' atrocious thinkin' on my part.

None taken, man.

[He frowns, setting down next to Eridan and then leaning forward, elbows on his knees and tipping his head in the troll's direction.]

I'm here for you, whatever you need. [Pause] Well, if it's something I can do. Probably some things I can't, but I'll try.

And maybe... could you describe the oddness? Might be a clue or some shit, and figuring it out will help.

I'm not sure...eh, doesn't matter. It's just everytime I look at her now I get this weird feeling.

Funnily enough this is the first time I've seen her since I got here.

Not exactly how I imagined meeting her in person for the first time though.

[He knows Eridan forgot her, and when he mentions looking in the mirror... maybe that weird feeling is the memories that got taken or blocked or whatever trying to come back. He really wants to believe that they're not gone for good, so it has an appeal. But he doesn't know if he can or should bring it up so he shrugs.]

I hope you figure it out, or it goes away. And yeah, that's kinda awkward, isn't it? Seein' a person 'cause you're stuck in their body or some shit.

Yeah. Even if I am top a' the spectrum now I was kinda fuckin' fine with bein' myself after all those sweeps.

[A pause.]

Hey, uh, if you do see her will you make sure she's okay? She said she's not angry or anythin' but judgin' from my current lack a' anger she may be an exception to this whole highblood induced anger thing.

So I'm a little fuckin' worried she might flip out as time goes on cause a' my blood in that body an' maybe not bein' used to it, an' I've been told I'm worrying way too much and treating her like she's some kinda weak an' defenseless wiggler or somethin'.

So I don't wanna ask again in case I just end up drivin' her away even more if it's true an' If I am.

But if you do this you cannot say I sent you or anythin' it won't look good either.

Well, uh. Her blood's a lot... uh redder than yours? Like, it's red enough to be almost warm instead of cool, like yours. It's still purple! Just a very red shade of purple. Maybe that's what makes her not as angry, if the real cool shades are angriest.

But yeah, I'll keep a lookout. I made her a doll, so I can ask how it's doin' as an excuse so she doesn't suspect I'm checkin' in on her.

[Relieved sigh.]

Fuck, thank you. It's nice havin' someone who's actually reliable around.

You're a good friend Kanj.

[IS THAT A SMILE? Yes, it is. It's a lot slighter and less noticeable than the icon makes it out to be, but it's there.]

I honestly couldn't trust anyone else with this, they'd probably fuckin' flap their protein chute about it off to her, purposefully or otherwise.

[He gives Eridan a bright smile and reaches out to give his shoulder a squeeze.]

You're a good friend too, man.

[Annnnd a little awkward, because currently a girl. Should he say girl? Nah, he's still a guy inside, right? Right. He's just stuck in a girl's body. Damn, Kanji feels bad for him.]

I'll do my best to be someone you can keep counting on.

[Eridan's gonna have to give Kanji the lowdown on troll biology 101 sometime...

but until then he'll be blissfully unaware about Kanji feeling bad for him.

BECAUSE THE LAST THING YOU DO IS TELL ERIDAN AMPORA YOU FEEL ANY FORM OF PITY FOR HIM.]

Have you ever had anythin' like this happen to you yet? Y'know castle fuckin' around or whatever.

[Oh, that will be a spectacular discussion, yes it will. And yes, probably best that Eridan doesn't know about Kanji feeling bad, because that would just end up awkward.]

No, not yet, but it's startin' to feel like I'm holding my breath, waitin' for the other shoe to drop. Only a matter of time probably.

[The only reason he hasn't is because ~~his mun~~ the castle hasn't decided what to do to him yet. So yes, only a matter of time.]

Oh, right. Well I hope it's not too bad if anythin' does happen.

I think it's just tryin' to piss me off at this point to be honest after I said a bunch a times it couldn't fuckin' touch me with it's fakey fake nonsense curses.

[Folding his arms.]

But it's failing miserably at gettin' to me so not like I give two shits.

Edited 2012-01-19 02:00 (UTC)

Worst thing that could happen would be... Uh, if it made me think it was months and months ago before I met my friends.

Or-- Oh damn, that might be even worse. If it made my shadow come back.

[He shakes his head as if shaking off bad thoughts and smiles.]

That's good. Can't let it get to you, man.

Hm?

Why would the first one be bad? Are they all here or somethin'?

[Oh he's curious about that second one too. He, at this point, knows Kanji well enough to assume he doesn't mean his regular shadow.]

Uh...shadow?

No, that ain't it. I told you once how I used to be a huge prick, right? Well, if I thought it was back then...I'd still be like that. Screamin' at people for even lookin' at me in a way I didn't like and chasin' 'em down with threats and shit. Usually didn't catch 'em, and that's a good thing, but when I did, it usually ended in fights. I was really, really angry all the damn time.

And, uh, my shadow was everything I was afraid of about myself, lied to myself about, hated about myself. All of my bad qualities, or things I denied and repressed. All of that condensed into a thing that looked almost just like me, but acted way different. Its goal was to show the whole damn world all of those things in the most obvious and embarrassing way.

I can say now that my shadow is a part of me, and he's my Persona now, but it's still really, really embarrassing to remember how he acted then.

Mm, the first one sounds pretty fuckin' bad I have to say. I'd say jackasses around here who don't actually know you would just think you're a prick from the getgo.

Second one sounds even fuckin' worse, jegus Kanj. Don't start givin' the castle ideas. If this shadow thing shows up now you're gonna know whose fault it is!

[That last part was supposed to be some kind of joke.]

Eitherway if shit just goes outta fuckin' control like that or somethin' I'll do what I can.

I can't say I'll be able to do as good as fuckin' job as you but...I'll try.

Can't really blame 'em, man? I pretty much was a huge prick back then. Yeah, most of it was either me tryin' to act all tough or just bein' too damn scared to be the real me, but the face I showed most people was an angry, really violent, punk.

...Oh shit. I really hope I didn't. Dammit, that'd be embarrassing as hell.

[He blushes bright red, and then looks up, startled but so very touched.]

Thanks man. I know I can count on you. Just, uh, if either happens, knowing I have friends who know and accept me for who I am would help. Past me would be really super suspicious and kind of expecting to be stabbed in the back though. And my shadow--

[He coughs and can't look at Eridan.] One of the things I wouldn't admit was how badly I wanted someone to accept me for me, and my shadow really ran with that shit in the bad way. [He mumbles] Hitting on every guy and shit.

[You know it's perfectly reasonable for people to assume people who act like jerks *are* jerks.

Logic, however, escapes Mr.Ampora here. Most of the time.

...

~~all of the time~~]

Well fuck, that's their fault! Did they even fuckin' try to see the real you? I bet not! I bet those fuckers just assumed everythin' from how you were actin'!

An' I couldn't give a fuck if you were acting like that on purpose, IT'S STILL bullshit! It's cause they couldn't be fuckin' bothered I bet. Don't even try to make friends with people it's a hassle to make friends with, unless it's easy for them they fuckin' try!!

[Calming himself...

Calming himself...

He'll take one deep breath, and sigh.]

...

Sorry.

Eridan... It's okay.

[Yeah, honorifics are pretty much gone for good because oh. Oh my. Eridan's kind of 80% wrong with that but that passionate defense. He's so touched. He gives Eridan a sweet smile while he tries to work through it.]

Thanks. For that. It kinda wasn't all perfectly right but... It meant a lot. So yeah, thanks.

And you're right that a lot of the time people don't bother when it ain't easy to befriend someone. That really sucks. It makes the people who try to look past all the surface shit for the real you right from the start all the more precious.

But! You do gotta be true to yourself, and try to show people the real you. Stand up and say "this is me. this is who I am." 'Cause if you don't, you're hurting yourself most of all.

[Surprisingly he still isn't tired of hearing about all this being true to yourself stuff.]

I know Kanj, I know. I'm just bein' myself all the time here an' it ain't sittin' well with a lotta people but I don't give a fuck anymore.

[Okay maybe that's a lie.]

I just figure they ain't worth keepin' around.

[Yeah, it is, but Kanji doesn't want to push too much. Baby steps.]

Maybe it's just taking 'em a while, you know? Sometimes people can't see the present for the past. Which is stupid, but there you go.

Yeah..

Hey, uh...would you mind stayin' for a while? We can watch more movies or something if you want, or whatever. Anything really.

I just...right now, do not want to be alone I guess.

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2/OR MAYBE 3 INSTEAD...

OKAY DONE FOR REAL THIS TIME

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Re: 1/2

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