1/001

[wheatdos]

[Oh god, now who is this guy? He's new, and he looks pretty mad. He's pacing the lobby like a mad freak. Fists clenched, hair ruffled and glasses broken, he's pretty hard to ignore because of the fact he's yelling out at the top of his lungs. Someone's gotta hear this guy.]

"Hello!? Helloooooo~
I said hello! Ca-can anybody hear me?
This is a joke... this is a joke right?
Someone-Someone want to tell me what's going on?"

[He pauses, and messes up his newly found hair, and then has a minor freakout. There he goes, talking to himself...]

"Ohhh my god, ahaha... oh this is ridiculous. THIS IS ridiculous, truly and utterly ridiculous!
I can't even conceive how ridiculous this is... this... this is like the epitome of ridiculous right here, right here in one place. It's-"

[He turns around, and trips over his footing, knocking over a vase. Oop.]

Comments

[wheatdos]

"Super strentgh? Wh-what do you take me for? Are you 400 lbs?"

[He stops and looks around. Nothing in sight. He then wanders off]

"St-stay there. Don't move. I'll be right back, I- I think I uh, have an Idea."

[optimystic]

No! But still, you know how it works... Mass times weight- wait no, falling time divided by weight? Something like that, but it's hard to catch people if you're just a normal guy!

[especially from so high up. But then... huh, he's actually going to get something? she'll watch him, curious]

What's your idea?

[wheatdos]

[He mutters something under his breath, but it cant be heard from that high up.He arrives about 10 minutes later, dragging a- wait, is that a massive couch? Where did he get that from???]

"Hnnngh... GNNHNG... HGNNGGN..."

[He pushes it over to her, and then sighs, panting. He then sits on the floor. He looks tired... but how the hell was he able to do that in the first place???]

"Alright... whew, alrightalrightalright is that enough? What, do you, do you want a martini? Maybe a vacation to peru? Madagascar? Fiji? Sheesh.

[optimystic]

T-That's really impressive! [asdhgakgh now she feels bad for the guy...... he's working so hard, maybe she can actually do it? Jumping on a couch actually sounds kind of fun...

NO WHAT IS SHE THINKING, THIS IS REALLY HIGH UP ASDGHASDGH ughhhhhhhhhh she rests her forehead on the railing for a second before looking back at him and calling back]

One quick question before I possibly commit to this! Why a I jumping off the stairs?

[wheatdos]

[He looks at her in a way that makes him shocked. It's as if he were personally offended by her inquiries. He just kinda sits there, looking up at her. He looks so... small from there. He sounds so out of breath, its hard to hear.]

"What? Wh-what you couldn't ask that, oh I don't know, before I just dragged that couch to make you feel more comfortable... now... [gasp] now you feel like asking me questions?? What, you just want to see me as I struggle to GASP for air? That's what I'm doing, GASPING... [gasp] I'm sure, i'm sure that you're just SO amused by that, aren't you"

[He stares at her, all narrowy eyed again, but she cant see it, of course.]

"Try- try to land on your feet. That'd be great, thanks."

1/3

[optimystic]

I'm really not amused, I promise! In fact, you worked really hard to get the couch, so I feel kind of bad if I don't jump, but it's still JUMPING FROM A REALLY HIGH SET OF STAIRS! [asdgah she waves her hands around in the air as she says that]

So you get it, right? I don't want to get hurt, but this seems to be really important to you...

[optimystic]

[the next part she kind of talks to herself] Come on, Maya! What would the Steel Samurai do? Of course he would help a random newcomer with his super important side quest!

3/3

[optimystic]

O-Okay! [asdgklhasdg like... clinging to the rail she hoists herself up so now she's standing on the outside ledge......

......

..... and still totally clinging to the railing]

It's really high, are you sure this is a good idea? [I AM SO AMUSED BY THIS THREAD ASDGKHASDHL hahha]

[1/2]

[wheatdos]

[Me too! Hahahaha!]

[He sighs]

"..."

[2/2]

[wheatdos]

"Wh-what? Oh no... oh no what's this? Oh no what's going on???"

[Wheatley is pushing the couch awayyy slowly]

"Oh no... the couch... it's pushing itself away... you better hurry before it's totally goneeeee..."

Re: [2/2]

[optimystic]

Wait wait wait, stop that! I'm coming! [oh godohgodohgod HNNNNNNG she takes a deep breath and jumps off the railing before he can push it any further]

Aaaaaaaaaaah! [hopefully he didn't push it too far away, and she'll land on the couch?]

[wheatdos]

[When he sees her falling, he quickly pulls the couch so its comfortably under her. She would fall right on the cushony surface. He clasped his hands together, closing his eyes and muttering to himself.]

"Pleaselandonyourfeet.Pleaselandonyourfeet.Pleaselandonyourfeet.Pleaselandonyourfeet.Pleaselandonyourfeet."

1/2

[optimystic]

[aaaaaaaaaaaaand by some small miracle she actually kind of does land on her feet! But she is totally not ready to brace herself, so she bounces right off of the couch onto the floor and lands on her butt]

Owowowowwww... [rubbing... her butt... like the classy girl she is. Until she comes to the realization that...]

2/2

[optimystic]

I'm alive... I did it! [:D she jumps to her feet, the fact that her but and ankles hurt a little bit completely forgotten in her excitement]

That was awesome! Did you see that? Heh, [she strikes a pose] of course I did it! This is what happens when you ask a favor of Maya Fey, Ace Jumper!

[wheatdos]

"Hahaha, yeah? See? That- that wasn't so bad was it? You'd think I'd actually put you in a situation where you could possibly get hurt? Whatt do you take me for? Well I'm not a psycho."

[Maybe. He extends a hand to help her stand, and would pull her up with relative ease. Wheatley is... sort've smiling. He looks content, but it's as if he's thinking.]

"You're perfect for the job."

[optimystic]

Sorry I doubted you. [haha, she takes his hand and winces a bit as she gets up, but seems to be fine] But you have to admit, randomly asking people to jump off of stuff is kind of weird. Unless it's a thing in your world? Like instead of shaking hands you have to prove that you're brave?

[aaaaand she cuts herself off mid ramble...] What job?

[wheatdos]

[He just kinda spaces out as she's talking]

"Ah yeah, right right."

[He seems to pay attention again however as she mentions the job. It causes him to grin]

"W-Well the job of getting out of here. Obviously. What else could we possibly be talking about. It- it would- It requires a phenomenal jumper, and you may have just been picked as the most eligible candidate. And- and you're not fat, so that's a double plus. Like, like as in two pluses. Yes."

[optimystic]

[asdlghsdgkashdgsalkdghasd that's.....

getting out of the castle, huh? her eyes widen] Y-You know how to get out of the castle?

[wheatdos]

"Have I forgotten to mention that I am of phen.om.in.al. intelligence Yes, you know, I'm practically a genius, love. Something whose intellect vastly surpasses, uh, anyone... that you have probably ever met. And while I well, haven't exactly um, pinpointed an exact tactic yet, I have deducted enough information from my uh...st-studies to begin to salvage up a plan. It'll be a fantastic plan. A great phenomenal plan. A plan like no other. And you miss... Maya Fey are going to help me do it. Ehhh? Ehhh? Doesn't sound so bad now, does it?"

[He grins.]

[optimystic]

[anyone else would think you're full of BS Wheatley. But not Maya....... instead she's nodding along as you talk, and looking super serious. And then when he mentions she could help...

What if this guy really could help? And she could help everyone get home? She pumps her fist in the air!]

Of course I'll help! Everyone else in the castle can just sit back and relax, we're on the case!

[wheatdos]

[Perfeeect.]

"Hehe. Great. Right right right."

[He clears his throat]

"We'd have to start you with your exclusive training then. First things first, we'd have to uh, establish some... sort of understanding, that-that you shouldn't under any circumstance, um... well doubt me. If you don't react quick enough we could both... easily die. Or something. Or maybe just you, you've just gotta remember that I wouldn't want my new found partner to get hurt! It wouldn't be right. Ri-right?"

[optimystic]

[this guy seems to be a little weird, but the whole jumping thing worked out, right? and it seems like he knows what he's doing despite how derpy he seems so after a minute of considering him she nods and holds out her hand for a handshake]

Alright then, partner! I'll trust you.

[wheatdos]

"Great. Great."

[He looks at her strange when she holds out her hand]

"...Uhm... What- what are you doing?"

[He doesn't know what a handshake is...]

[optimystic]

[she holds her hand a little more forward... trying to motion that he should hold it]

Handshake! That's what all the cool characters do in a movie when they're making a deal. I promise, it'll just take a second.

[wheatdos]

[He reluctantly takes her hand, and shakes it. At that moment, he turns away awkwardly and begins to walk in the other direction.]

"I'll be calling you again soon, Maya Fey. We can continue our testing then. For now, be sure to watch your leg, don't gain any weight, oh- oh. And..."

[He turns to her, grinning like a goofball.]

"Don't tell anyone about this, will ya? I don't want anyone sabotaging anything."