1/001

[wheatdos]

[Oh god, now who is this guy? He's new, and he looks pretty mad. He's pacing the lobby like a mad freak. Fists clenched, hair ruffled and glasses broken, he's pretty hard to ignore because of the fact he's yelling out at the top of his lungs. Someone's gotta hear this guy.]

"Hello!? Helloooooo~
I said hello! Ca-can anybody hear me?
This is a joke... this is a joke right?
Someone-Someone want to tell me what's going on?"

[He pauses, and messes up his newly found hair, and then has a minor freakout. There he goes, talking to himself...]

"Ohhh my god, ahaha... oh this is ridiculous. THIS IS ridiculous, truly and utterly ridiculous!
I can't even conceive how ridiculous this is... this... this is like the epitome of ridiculous right here, right here in one place. It's-"

[He turns around, and trips over his footing, knocking over a vase. Oop.]

Comments

[kamenriderdecade]

[The good news is you are definitely not alone; there is a well dressed dude just a few feet away.

But he's not going to be helpful at all. Instead, he'll just take your photograph with his camera and remain silent.]

[doublethefun]

[a blue pony is walking past, slowing down and giving him a look reserved for crazy people.]

[wheatdos]

"Eh? Heyheyhey, what are you doing?"

[He swung around to look at the stranger]

"What's that, what did you just do? Did you just take a picture of me? You better not have taken a picture of me, well you could if you want, but not like this, not with this... this... ugly... ugly...

[He gestures to his body]

Human looking thing.
Anyway, do-do you wanna do me a favor? Yeah, a little favor, it won't be too much, I promise, I promise. Do you wanna tell me what...what's going on here? What is this, this place? yeah yeah... what is this?

[My god, this guy can go a mile a minute]

[kamenriderdecade]

[He'll lower his camera, and give you the most indifferent look ever.]

It's a castle. Apparently it kidnaps people through time and space.

And until it's done with you, you can't leave. So get comfortable.

[wheatdos]

[Wheatley notices the pony as he is having his minor freakout- wait.
What. the hell. is that.]

"Eh, yeah... what are you lookin' at eh?
Acting as if you knowwwww me. I bet you're just judging me aren't ya, judgin' poor little ol' Wheatley like you know him...!"

[He flails again, and his glasses fall off his face]

"What kind of joke is this? This... this place? I'm in space one minute, and the next I'm here. You wanna give me the rundown? Tell me where the closest exit is, eh? That'd be nice... you... blue... colored... thing."

[Yeah he's new]

[wheatdos]

[He tries to stop from laughin- nope. He's already laughing at him.]

"Hahahahahahahahaha! Oh my god... hehe... oh that's good, that's good. Ignore the laughing... I'm not laughing at you... heh... eheheh..."

[He's laughing at YOUUUU.]

"Great great... so where's you're eh... AI in charge then? What d'yeh want, some tests or something? Got some platforms to jump across? No offense, you look like a bit of a porker, so I would run a few laps before you got yourself into some tests, mate."

[kamenriderdecade]

[Yeahhhh, he's just going to ignore pretty much all of that. TL;DR MATE]

If that's what you want to believe, be my guest. Eventually though you're just going to have to settle in and deal with it.

I'll just look forward to the day I prove you wrong.

[doublethefun]

[incoming Royal Canterlot Voice - i.e. loud, booming, and echoey. Duck and cover, Wheatley.]

Excuse thee? We are a pony and We would be highly appreciative if thou wouldst desist in referring to Us as a "thing."

[wheatdos]

"Oh... oh look who think's they're all high and mighty.
You. It's you I'm talking about if you didn't know.
Thinkin' he's high and mighty. Yeah. I'm starting to dislike you already."

[He walks off in some direction, looking for an exit]

"Ohhhh.... hohohoho, I get you now. This is my first test isn't it? Getting out of this place. Alriiight, I get it. The customs of this place aren't like Aperture. That's alight, be vague. You... vague humanoid. Well dont worry, I've got it under control."

[Oh god what is he going to do]

[wheatdos]

[Oooh, speaker systems. That's pretty cool. He has-well, had those back at Aperture]

"Oh... oh, is that what you call yourself? A PO-NY, oh thats rich hahaha, really rich. So... what is that? Some sort of mutant experiment gone horribly wrong or something? Cause if it is, I mean, I- I get it. If you don't want to talk about it, I guess I get that too... I mean, If I were some sort of horribly disfigured mutant experiment, I... I guess I wouldn't want to talk about it either. I've never been to this part of the facility really, it...it's a bit new to me... so of course there would be some sort of mutant species I wouldn't recognize, that, that's- that's understandable..."

[He's never seen a pony; AND he think's he's still in his laboratory? This guy is really underinformed.]

[optimystic]

[......................... guess who was just hanging out and minding her own business in the lobby. Yeah, she's watching this guy walking around going crazy]

Woah, hey! Hold on and breathe a bit. [asdgah she feels bad for the guy, so she's going to get up off her chair and jog over]

Did you just wake up here?

[wheatdos]

[Eh? He stops his freakout for a moment, and stares at her. His glasses are broken.]

E-Eh, What?

[He didn't hear her over his own yelling]

[doublethefun]

[you know that wavy, ethereal mane and tail she's got? It's gonna move a lot more erratically now.]

We are not the product of some misbegotten experiment, foal. We have always been this way and will always be this way long after thy bones have been reduced to mere dust.

[atadiscoverer]

[Dr. Beckett comes down the stairs to the loud shouting and shattering of a vase. He quickly jogs the rest of the way over, looking worried.]

Are you okay?

[kamenriderdecade]

[He doesn't know what this guy is going to do exactly, but for some reason, he's pretty sure it's going to be hilariously stupid.

So he'll follow him, resting his hands in the pockets of his jacket as he does.]

Written

[bootsweremadeforcasting]

'I take it you've just arrived?'

[Your journal is talking to you in a monotone, reading words that had been written on the page.]

Action!

[psych0p0mps]

[ALIEN GET! Aradia is just fluttering around on her butterfly wings and happens to notice some weirdo freaking out in the lobby. Ordinarily she would wait a moment for him to calm down, but that doesn't appear to be happening, so instead she interrupts from above.]

Excuse me! Hello!

[wheatdos]

"Oh... nono... hehe, you see that's where you're wrong.Y'see... despite what you see here... this, this isn't me. This is just some, well, actually funny enough I can't actually explain WHAT it is really.

This uh...human body. This human APPEARING body, yes it should be called appearing because I am not actually human. Despite how I may look."

[He seems to really want to get that across]

[doublethefun]

And We care because...?

[wheatdos]

"Am I okay? Am I oka- did you just ask me if I'm okay?"

[Wait. It's another human? Oh great Wheatley just your luck. He suddenly straightens himself up and looks a bit more composed. A bit.]

"...Yes, of cooooouuuuurse. I'm fine, I'm fine. Y'know. I just end up in a CASTLE, looking like THIS. What kind of joke is this, did you- did you do this? You know, I bet it was you too, you look like a spacey kinda fellow.

Spacey... You know, cause of space.

I was in space a few minutes ago... and then how convenient of a spacey HUMAN to suddenly come to the "rescue" when Wheatley is starting to figure this place out. Covering your tracks, aren't ye?"

[He says this narrowing his eyes suspiciously]

[wheatdos]

"Oh... haha pfft, pshhh well soooooorry. Look whose got an attitude. Here I am trying to be polite, and then here you go mashing up that politeness with your little wingies, just... just mashing it up.

Okay, I'm figuring that you crazy blue fellows don't know anything about what common courtesy is. Ugh, this was a terrible, terrible idea. Terrible idea Wheatley. I should have known better than to go conversing with you, but... but but at least you're blue, yeah, it's a wonderful color. Definitely something that you've got going for you, yep, being blue. Not anything better on the spectrum really."

[Refrain from completely exploding again. You remember the last time you lost your temper and it got you here. At least, you think. You're not sure.]

"Um, okay before this gets, ugly and well, unpleasant, would you-would you like to point me to the nearest exit? Closest one please. That would be nice. Preferably some sort of exit that includes my core still in tact, and... and-and well me in it. Just having my core won't do very much good for me."

Re: Written

[wheatdos]

"Eh?"

[Wheatley turns around, looking at the broken vase guiltily, and ignoring it. He still looks frazzled.]

"Eh... And who are you supposed to be, eh?"

Re: Action!

[wheatdos]

[He looks around when he hears her voice, not occurring to him to look up]

"Huh? Hey, who's there! H-hey show yourself!"

[psych0p0mps]

[Fffft, this poor guy. And yet, so amusing.]

I'm right here, silly! Look up.

[doublethefun]

Thou darest lecture Us on the importance of manners? At least We refrained from calling thee a word-spewing wretch who, instead of a sense of self-preservation, seems to have carefully cultivated some sort of utterly asinine form of courage.

[a slow smirk] My stars, did I say that out loud?