⊕ .029 caliber

[neverplays]

I have questions about weddings.

I need to know these things.

[Mindy will write them down, her writing is mostly printing and it's trying to be very neat.]

1. What do you wear at a wedding?

2. Do I have to get them a present?

3. Should I know anything else about weddings?

Comments

[heirdom]

I don't know. I guess if you were older you'd just have to look better and have a lower-cut dress, but when you're a kid you probably just need to act cute or something.

[neverplays]

Yeah, I don't have boobs. [She pats her chest down just to make sure. Yep. Flat.]

Low cut is just trashy anyway. [No offense, Mol - she thinks you work that catsuit, but for her own tastes it screams hooker.]

Have you even been to a wedding before?

[heirdom]

[Damian isn't sure what to make of that. Mindy with boobs...... Mindy...... with boobs............... boobs :|c]

No, I've only seen them in movies.

[neverplays]

[She doesn't really give it much thought.]

Huh. Maybe I should watch some movies.

[heirdom]

[You are a girl.]

They're a waste of time.

[neverplays]

[Who one day will grow boobs and she doesn't really have a woman in her life to help her through that change.]

So? Maybe I want to waste my time.

[heirdom]

[What, Mol won't tell you about the birds and bees?]

Then do it. What do you think I'll do, punch you in the gut until you promise not to watch bad movies?

[neverplays]

[Does he really think Mindy is going to trust a woman who prefers a chastity belt on her waist? Besides, here it doesn't matter. She's not going to age.]

No. [makes a face] Why would I care what you think anyway?

[heirdom]

[Huff.]

We're friends, aren't we?

[neverplays]

Yeah, but that doesn't mean I should worry that you'll hate me for watching a movie. I mean, if you get mad that I watch [she's flipping through this stack of movies the castle gave her just now...] Runaway Bride - that's dumb.

[heirdom]

[That's fair, he guesses.]

I meant in general.

[neverplays]

[Boys are confusing.]

Whatever. [She's not even going to try and figure out what he meant with that one.]

Why do all these movies have Wedding in the title? Can't they get creative? Betsy's Wedding. Muriel's Wedding. Four Weddings and a Funeral... I wonder if there are zombies in that one.

[heirdom]

[Look, these past few months have been so unbelievably shitty, he is suddenly all for meaningful friendships :(]

It's so stupid women don't have to try to read the plot summary.

Why is there a funeral?

[neverplays]

I'm hoping that it's because there are zombies that show up to one of these four weddings.

[la la la, looking at the pictures on the back of the box.]

I mean, one in four? Those are pretty good odds.

[heirdom]

[Considering pause.]

It doesn't have to be zombies, though. It could be a psychopath, or an escaped criminal, or a revenge plot that kills everyone.

[neverplays]

[So far the back of the box doesn't have any dismembered people.]

Huh. It's only one funeral... so maybe only one person dies. I'd go with revenge plot.

[heirdom]

The groom was a philanderer, maybe.

[neverplays]

Makes sense. Four weddings... one guy.

[heirdom]

He probably deserved it.

[neverplays]

I hope it's a closed casket.

[heirdom]

I don't. Then you could see just how badly they beat him up.

[neverplays]

Four Weddings and a bear mauling. Now that would be a movie.

[heirdom]

Bears are pretty predictable, though. Why not a badger, or a wolverine?

[neverplays]

Oh yeah. [Plus, Mol has that bear reserve... probably not very good for the image of bears.]

Mongoose.

[heirdom]

An exceptionally large one, trained in fighting rings but set loose.