paradisa | 004 ♔ written;

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damon salvatore

004 ♔ written;

So does everybody here celebrate New Years the right way? Or is there some twist I'm not aware of?

[He pauses a very long time before adding a filter. Damon is pretty certain he shouldn't be offering his help at all. Definitely not for this. And definitely not to her. But he's got a title to protect here, so what's one more likely bad decision?]

[Lana]

I'll play your love interest. Set up the little double date with Lucrezia if you want.

[Short, sweet, & to the point because otherwise he's going to write something more scathing, sarcastic, & bitchy.]

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Everything turns to alcohol. At least, that's what happened the past two years.

Well, that doesn't sound particularly awful.

Don't get your hopes up, it usually starts in the morning with the shower.

I haven't heard many early morning complaints yet.

I can think of much worse ways to start your morning.

With a lack of free alcohol or a lack of complaints?

Well between the two, certainly the latter.

It sure beats the random kidnapping threats. [Because, she actually wonders what happened with that... she hadn't seen the journal that day and then there was no big boom of people being upset... so she guesses it worked out okay.]

[Damon on the other hand, just glossed right over that. He's behaving himself, doesn't mean he needs to go play good guy to that extreme.]

I thought those could've been a little more imaginative.

I have learned that it takes all kinds here and the castle likes to help.

From Egyptian goddesses killing people for not having the right heart to dinosaurs -- there's always something else for everyone to survive.

Damn, I missed Jurassic Park night?

I missed it too, but yeah. It was a week on an island of dinosaurs and... I guess adventure.

Did anybody get eaten by raptors?

[Oh, Damon you joke, but Ian Malcolm wouldn't be joking and Jurassic Park is exactly where they were all taken - so your pop culture references are the TRUTH.]

I don't know that much about it. I think someone got eaten... [Jack Harkness.....] but I wasn't there for that one.

I know there are still dinosaurs here. Oliver Queen had one, but he's gone. So, I don't know who ended up with that one. There are a few running in the woods, but I'm sure they'll get eaten by something else someday.

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[ Said sweetly, you know that kind of sweet that's probably carrying arsenic.

If Lana was a more vulgar person, she really would just say 'Fuck you'. She doesn't even care about his offer anymore, since he insulted her beyond forgiveness. Which he isn't even asking for, anyway! ]

I'm so honored. Thank you. But you can take that offer and shove it for all I care.

[This is him trying to bury the hatchet here, Lana!]

Could've just said apology not accepted. Would've had the same effect.

[ Yeah except this Lana is not as willing to shove hatchets under the rug like the old Lana was. Get used to it or flee! ]

I didn't hear an apology anywhere in there. Or did you forget what you've said to me all over again?

I'm not an idiot. I know what I said was unfair. But fine.

Be unreasonable.

You could have fooled me. You act the way idiots do. Cruel, unfeeling idiots.

[ Do you not like the taste of your own medicine, Damon? Kind of bitter and hard to swallow? ]

I don't think I'm being unreasonable at all for wanting an apology for what you said to me. 'Unfair' doesn't even begin to cover it. You gave me every reason to hate you, and no reason to trust you! How do I know anything I say to you won't be shared with the Borgias, while you laugh in your little clubhouse about what a sorry riot that Lana Lang is?

[ No seriously if she rants a little more maybe she can blubber out all those insecurities Damon managed to drag right out of her. Angry is better than sad, always! ]

Could you be a little more paranoid? I barely even know Lucrezia.

She doesn't even know I'm a vampire, Lana.

Oh. All better then.

[ Such a good thing this isn't in person. Her flailing is too dangerous these days. ]

I'm not paranoid at all when you said yourself you wanted this to blow up in my face. When you said yourself I'm not worth it. I swore I'd never let anyone get away with treating me the way you do. I am not one of your little toys that you get to mistreat at your pleasure. I could have killed you.

Then why didn't you? If I'm really that much of a threat to you.

Because maybe I'm a lot of things... But whatever you call me, I'm not a monster.

Right, right.

Well, whatever, Lana. Message received. Bridge burned to a crisp.

Unless you want to really apologize. If you mean it.

[ I mean she'll still be mad but... Super powered allies without scruples are hard for her to come by. ]

I didn't destroy your gift yet.

[Actions speak louder than words. Given how he was so adamantly opposed to doing this crap earlier...]

I'll let you be the judge as to whether or not I'm sincere.

Doesn't seem to matter what I say.