paradisa | 03 | Written | Filtered to Dave, Roxy, Kurt

Entry tags:

dirk strider

03 | Written | Filtered to Dave, Roxy, Kurt

[So. Dirk has figured out how wishes work, and because of that he's gotten parts to build robots. He has a few projects planned, but with Jane recently getting knocked out and the fact that Jake still hasn't come to the castle, he finds himself not wanting to be alone while he works. It might be stupid, and he would deny it, but he feels lonely. Jane has her best friend, so why not him? Whatever, it doesn't matter. He's fine. No one has to know he's lonely. But he does decide to filter things to a few separate people.]

[Filtered to Dave]

Man I'm practically up to my fuckin' neck in robo parts right now.
Turns out this place gives you what you want if you just ask nicely enough for it.
It's like the motherfucking make a wish foundation or some shit.
The point is, you should stop by tonight.
Help me figure out some cool gadgets and gizmos to build or something.
I've got a few things planned, but brainstorming is always a good idea.
I could always make you an auto-responder to go along with mine.
But anyway.
My place Y/Y?
If Y, stop by in a few hours.
If Y, stop the fuck by in a few hours.

[/Filter]

[Filtered to Roxy]

I've finally acquired the parts to make the IOU Christmas gift I'd had planned for Jane.
I figure now is a good a time as any to start on it.
It would be a nice surprise for if when she wakes up.
You're welcome to come hang out while I work on it.
I know how you like to be in on secrets.
Well consider Jane's late Christmas gift a huge fuckin' secret.
You're welcome to come over tonight.
I have a few people stopping by, I'm trying not to have 'em all arrive at once.
So what d'you say?
I might have enough parts to make you something afterwards, depending on a few things.
You could consider it a late Christmas gift, too.

[/Filter]

[Filtered to Kurt]

Kurt.
I've recently come into the acquisition of the necessary parts needed to make the thing we discussed.
If you wanna stop by and hang out while I work on it, you can.
Anytime would be good, but the sooner the better considering I have a few other projects to work on.
Of course, you don't have to actually come if you're not up for it.
It's up to you.

[/Filter]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

oh em gee dirk u r TEH BEST
this is srsly happening i am coming over and we are HANGING OUT
i have waited years for this and it will be
THE
BEST
u dont even have to make me anything just tell me all ur secrets
tho u know i wont say no if u rly want to ;)
honestly im worried about jane
what if she doesnt wake up
what if she wakes up while im gone
but there is NO WAY i am not taking u up on ur offer
i think itd be better than worrying over jane neways

Well, it isn't for lack of trying.
I'm hardly the type to settle for second best, after all.
And I think I'll go for building you something.
I can't just spill all my secrets, can I?
It would completely destroy my air of mystery and I'd like to keep it.

Jane's going to be fine.
Being a pessimist isn't going to do her any good.
And like you said, worrying isn't either.

i would be all about having something built by the distri
as long as its not a robot
well robots r ok
but not like jakes
if i get a strider original bot it needs to be AWESOME n ttly up my alley
u kno what i mean
yea i know thats why im not going to worry no more
so lets get our hangs out on
we r so overdue

You ain't gotta worry about me building you a strife-bot, Rox.
You're intoxicated far too often for me to feel comfortable doing that.
It would probably just end in you getting her.
But considering that the only thing I have is scrap metal and wires, it's going to have to be some form of robot.
So I'm going to assume you'd like a drinking buddy for a robot.
It would be the perfect drinking companion, able to indulge in copious amounts of alcohol while still maintaining its faculties so as to be the designated driver.
Not that there are cars here, but whatever.
It would also be the perfect one to share drunken gossip with when I'm busy.
And yeah, let's do that.
I'll see you tonight, then?

i am not always juced dirk
i am offended you would even say that
i mean come on i havent had so much as a drink since i arrived ok
tho that was a lie ;)
i had a little nog l o l
u should lighten up n join me 1nce and a while
itd be fun
if u kno wat i mean ;)
jk
but srsly dirk a drinkin robot chick would be bad ass
but i think id prefer the rl thing
u kno what im gettins at
unlessssssssss
this new gal pal bot is ttlies all about the listen in
i could use a little extra eyes n ears for da gossipins
just in case i miss a thing or 2
yea i am totes there

Not always juiced, huh?
Alright, I totally believe that one.
Maybe one day I'll consider joining you when I have less shit to do.
Being drunk isn't really conducive to getting anything done.
And I'll see what I can do re: gossip gathering drinking buddy.
I'll see you in a few hours.

[And suddenly it's a few hours later ~~because the mun can't be arsed to start a new log for this and wants to do it here~~ because Paradisa is magical like that.]

awww man dirk if thats the case ull never drink with me
u always have shit 2 do
i have never seen a guy have as much shit 2 do as you
it wont hurt u 2 sit back an enjoy urself once and a while u kno
it wont hurt
the bots can wait but life keeps movin on b4 u
and if u dont stop and enjoy it now
itll be gone b4 u know it

[ Look at Roxy being all profound and shit now. Whatever, when those few hours are totally there she is all up on Dirk's door, pretending to knock all dainty-like. ]

Yoo hoo~ Do I have the residence of one hot stud muffin stallion known as THE one and only Dirk Strider?

[By the time it's Roxy's turn to visit, he's made quite a bit of progress. In the middle of the room sits the bot he's building for Jane. The head is detached and on the floor near it, along with a few body parts. It looks like he still has a long way to go, so they should be here a while.

He looks up when he hears Roxy's voice outside, rolling his eyes in an amused way at her words.]

The door's unlocked, Rox, you can come in. Just don't expect me to neigh like the stallion you're implying I am.

[ Roxy takes the cue to throw open his door, pretending to lavish herself against his open doorframe. ]

Well hallooooooo theeeeere Mr. Strider. [ She feigns a swoon and everything before she shuts the door with her foot and makes her way over. ]

Here I was all ready for you to pony up if you get what I mean. [ She waggles her eyebrows for emphasis, but looses interest quickly in order to hover over him and whatever it is he's doing. ] What'cha doin' heeeere?

[He just regards her passively when she does that. You're so silly, Roxy, really. But after a moment, he stands up, figuring a break for small talk for a moment is in order.]

I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I don't indulge in pony play on the first date. Maybe next time.

[At her question, he shrugs.]

Same thing I've been doing all day; building Jane's Christmas present.

Edited 2013-01-13 05:57 (UTC)

Ohhhh? This is a date, then? You shoulda said so before, I woulda all guessied myself up for you. With a slinky skirt or somethin, all showin' you a little leg.

[ Le wonk. ]

What is it? The Bakeomatic 360?

[In hindsight, calling it a date probably was a bad idea. Oh well, hindsight is 20/20 after all, and he's pretty sure she's kidding. Hopefully, anyway.]

I personally think what you're wearing looks fine. As for the robot, you're free to call it whatever you like. I haven't decided on an official name for it at the moment. But yeah, the goal is for it to bake in place of Jane, since she lacks the ability to do so any longer.

[ When does Roxy ever take getting her flirt on with Dirk seriously? She does it, but she knows he's all for the J-Man. Flirting with Dirk is all in harmless good fun. Not that she'd mind if he ungayed long enough to give her some babies, but it's not like she's gonna push for it! ]

Ohhhh? [ She waggles her eyebrows 'suggestively'. ] Since when were you so into the ladies fashions? Though, I dare say you're totes correct there. I'm lookin' GOOD. [ She flips her hair over her shoulder, offering him a hearty wonk. ]

Oh yeah... [ The mention of that makes her a little sad, but she tries not to let on very long. ] You gotta make sure it's got THE BEST name. Only the best for our Jane, but none of that Crocker b.s. Girl gotta stop with that shizz before the Batterwitch finds a way to sink her claws here too.

[Oh, Roxy. Don't ever change. As exasperated as you make him sometimes, he wouldn't trade you for the world and he just rolls his eyes lightly, a smile creeping up slowly.]

Who knows, maybe I've learned a thing or two since getting here. I mean, I am building a thing for a guy that's supposed to create holographic outfits. Gotta brush up on my inner Project Runway.

[At her statement, he gives her a nod.]

Yeah, there won't be any Crocker relation with this thing as long as I can help it. Maybe we should go with one of her competitors. Paula bot? But then it'd probably kill everyone with butter overload...

Snap. I GOTTA see this. Oh man Dirk if you're gonna be all p.r. let's talk fashion ALL THE TIME. I can TOTES teach you a thing or two.

[ Yeah, the prospect of Dirk being all up into women's fashions is far too exciting for Roxy. Far too exciting. ]

Good. The ONLY crock here is that choice lass Jane Crocker. We ain't gonna let no crocker relation ruin our fun. Well... [ She scratches her chin thoughtfully. ] Except maybe her exemplary dilf. Jane's dad-- Talk 'bout distinguished and swoonworthy.

[ She pauses to give Dirk a cheeky smile. ] Don't worry my bromo you will always be the number one hottie in my book tho. [ Winks for good measure. ]

For serious though. [ She places herself comfortable on the edge of his bed. ] What've you been up to? I mean, other than making bots.

you can build shit huh
nifty
yeah okay hold your robot horses ill be there when i find my fucking cape
i got something to show you too

[Aka he abruptly decided he wanted to show Dirk his sword, only now he feels kind of dumb about it for some reason. It's a pretty stupid looking sword. HOWEVER showing up without it would only look dumber, so he takes it and he waits the few hours, leaving for Dirk's room and totally forgetting his cape as he does.

Once he reaches the door, he spends a while figuring out the perfect way to knock before sucking it up and knocking twice.]

My expertise is mainly in regards to robotics, but yeah I'm pretty damn crafty.
I would ask why you need to find your cape, but I guess it doesn't really matter so long as you show up eventually.
Color me curious.
See you in a few.

[Dirk looks up at the sound on his door a few hours later and he's on his feet in a flash, pulling open the door. Over his shoulder, Dave can see robot parts and scrap metal strewn around the room. He wasn't lying when he said he was up to his neck in robot parts.]

Hey, man.

[Dave sure can see all of those robo parts. In a way, it kind of reminds him of all the way Bro kept his puppet shit all over the fucking place. What a messy shit, Dave swears to god.

He holds out a fist for a bump, trying to be subtle about his dumb sword.]

Sup. Looks like a shop class in here. How do you have all of your fingers?

[Dirk is quick to respond to the fistbump, pressing his knuckles against Dave's before letting his hand fall back to his side. He hasn't really noticed the sword, too preoccupied with everything else going on in his mind.]

By being careful and paying close attention.

[He steps aside so that Dave can move into the room.]

Come in, make yourself at home or whatever. Just... don't spill anything on the parts and you're good.

[In the middle of the room is his current project, the baking robot he's making for Jane. It looks to be about halfway done, though in reality there's still a lot left to do.]

[Dave follows it up with a thumbs up, giving Dirk's fingers a critical stare as if expecting to see scars from failed attempts at losing fingers.]

Whoda thunk it.

[He slinks in, tapping his sword (which is broken from his little strife with Eridan) on his shoulder and making a beeline for all the gadgets so he can look at them with his poker face.]

I don't have anything to spill, chill.

[Try all you want, you're not going to find any scars on these fingers. Well, alright. Maybe a couple. Shut up.]

Just makin' sure, bro.

[It's around then that he notices the sword as Dave taps it against his shoulder.]

Any reason you brought that?

Maybe I'll wish myself up a drink and we can get serious about this chessmaster game of drinks and robot parts.

It really is like shop class.
[He raises an eyebrow at Dirk and then he stops being an idiot and realises he meant the sword.]

Oh. [I wanted to show you.] Fishtamus Primechump broke it with his shitty fighting. Figured you might be able to take a look at it.

If you do that, I really will have to punch you.

[He moves closer at Dave's words, his eyes on it so that he can get a closer look at the sword. His lips quirk up into an amused smile when he really gets a good look at it.]

Nice one, bro. You want me to take a crack at fixing it? This is what you get for dealing with trolls.

I will have to punch you back. With a drink in my hand. You have to think, man, is it really worth the risk?

[Dave lowers it so Dirk can get a better look.]

He looked so happy with his gun, I had to introduce myself. Would've been rude if I didn't.

If you want to, sure. It'd be a challenge.

[Son of a bitch, Dave has a point there. He resists the urge to stick his tongue out.]

I'll just punch you later as payback.

[He takes the sword from Dave and looks at it more closely. He's not sure if he can fix it, but it's at least worth a shot.]

That's what they want, y'know. They get off on fighting or something. It's like in their blood to just want to fight every chance they get. But yeah, I'll see what I can do.

If you can catch me. [He stretches his legs as if to emphasise his next comment.] I'm pretty god damn spry. They call be Speedy Gonstridaz.

[He hands it over, looking over as well. It's his baby and he's worried about it's chill ass.]

You say that like fucking around with them isn't even more fun knowing that.

[At Dave's comment, he just lets out a small snort and then flash steps behind him, before flash stepping back in front of him.]

Believe me, catching you isn't going to be a problem, Speedy.

[He moves over, brushing a few metal parts out of the way to lay the sword on a table.]

Touche. But then they go and break your toys.

[That honestly josses Dave a little, but he brushes it off with a snort and shrugs dramatically.]

Nice party trick. You aren't the only one who can do that, y'know. [But Dave doesn't want to try because bumping into something would be butt devastating.]

This isn't a toy, it's a weapon of mass seduction. The ladies love it, that's why you need to fix it. [Bull. Shit.]

[Yes. It really would be butt devastating- mostly because Dirk would probably shove something robotic up his ass as revenge. No incesto, no homo. It would be completely platonic revenge.

But he isn't even focused on that anymore. Because you know what? He's laughing. Actual laughter, instead of just a chuckle, because the part about 'weapon of mass seduction' is just too goddamn hilarious. He isn't laughing because it's a funny pun, though. He's laughing because the idea of anyone being seduced by this thing is the most laughable thing ever. Seriously. Dave, please.

God he hasn't laughed this hard in a long time, and he can't stop, not even long enough to say anything.]

[He can claim it as a platonic ass devastation but there's no way Dave would ever believe him or hang around him ever again afterward. Sorry, man. Too soon.

Dave can't help be pretty fucking surprised by the laugh. What he's seen of Dirk so far has been so cut off and chill like his own Bro, seeing him laugh is just so jarring.

Especially when it's aimed at him.

He slowly raises an eyebrow over his shades, keeping the pokerface intact.]

Tell me the truth- Are you high?

[He honestly doesn't know why he's laughing so hard. Usually he IS pretty chill, but goddamn. Maybe it's because he's not laughed in so long. He hasn't had reason to. And then Dave throws something ridiculous like that at him and he's fucking losing it.

Dirk has to reach up and wipe tears from under his shades, and when Dave speaks, he snorts.]

No, you're just the most massive goober I've ever seen.

[It's all very surreal. As surreal as it is buttchafing and horrifying. Dave doesn't know whether he wants to join in laughing or throw a tantrum like a child. Hell, he kind of feels like a kid getting laughed at for goofing up right now.]

Yo, I'm not the one shitting bricks over a dumb joke. [He snorts like he doesn't give a crap.] Can you fix it or not?

[He assures you, Dave, he's laughing with you, not at you. Mostly. Lighten up. When Dave speaks, he contains the laughter and then shrugs.]

Yeah, I don't see why not. It shouldn't be much trouble, I've fixed harder things.

[...That's what she said.

Please don't say that, Dave. Please don't say that.]

[Dave raises an eyebrow at the sudden mood shift, but he shrugs. Is this better than being laughed at? He doesn't know.]

That's what she said. [He doesn't even need to think about it.] Why am I here again? [His memory is awful.]

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03 | Written | Filtered to Dave, Roxy, Kurt

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