xxxvi λ winter

[assassino]

-------- Private -------

January 28th.

In some ways, I feel as though I am a ship adrift at sea, or at least a boat lost in a maze of canals. I do not know how to navigate a relationship with a woman from the future. The customs that are difficult enough in friendship prove even more complicated now. I know how a man might dictate a relationship in my time, but Lana is entirely different. If I commanded her, she would likely just be angry with me, so I am letting her make all of the decisions… it is strange, to say the least, but there is little I can do, even if I feel I am being emasculated.

Put like that, it all sounds very dramatic, but it feels as though that is the only way I can express it. It is one thing to be friends with women from the future, that I enjoy very much, but it is somehow different to call one your "girlfriend." I am just not used to being at one woman's beck and call.

I want to be prepared for this, yet I still feel lost… but I am still determined to prove to Molotov and the rest of them that I can be with a single woman and respect her wishes.

(It would be easier, though, if I were not always consumed with... frustrations. She will not even allow me to taste her.)

And what else plagues my mind? The Borgia, of course, as always… I fear Lucrezia will sabotage my relationships, and am concerned about that Cesare has been planning. I dare not place too many thoughts to the page, lest I bring bad luck upon myself.

Then there is Tim, who is Stephanie's "ex-boyfriend" –– I have yet to meet him, but I look forward to it. A bit of sporting fun would do me good.


x






----- Cesare Borgia -----


[written]

Salute.

I'd like to invite you to dinner. Just men –– no fair ladies this time.

E. Auditore.


-------------





Is it time for the snow to vanish into the ground yet? I hate snow. It is miserable to have to bundle oneself up like a Rossian just to go outdoors, and even more miserable to be indoors and wet in such heavy clothing.

Fuck winter, that is what I say.

Comments

[assassino]

That isn't what I asked, Lucrezia.

[heloise]

I think he would have been kinder and I happier.

But it is no use mourning over dead men.

[assassino]

What sent him to his grave?

[heloise]

A mosquito.

Why do you ask?

[assassino]

Curiosity.

I am sorry you lost him.

[heloise]

[ Young love, she thinks, or was it even? He could have been made Sultan if her family wanted it. ]

Would you have liked me better as a Turkish princess?

[assassino]

I could not imagine it.

[heloise]

Must I take that as an insult?

[assassino]

No, dolcezza. I just prefer you as you are.

[heloise]

Unmarried?

[assassino]

Yes. Men with power tend to be undeserving of wives.

[heloise]

Should I find myself a commoner for a husband?

[assassino]

If that is what it takes to stay away from men in power, yes.

[heloise]

Then I am beyond your advice, Ezio, all the men I know are those of power.

[assassino]

As if you have never met a servant boy or something, hmm?

Just find a kind man who will steal you away from the madness of Rome and live a humble life far from dangerous men.

[heloise]

[ She chuckles, ignoring that reminder of Paolo now. ]

I did mmet the kindest man who offered me the life of fisherman's wife. How would that suit me?

[assassino]

Hmm. Pick something that will not have you smelling of fish, at least.

[heloise]

Why? When he would love me all the same?

[assassino]

Ah, but do YOU enjoy the smell of fish so much that you would wear it as your new perfume?

[heloise]

If it pleases this hypothetical husband of mine.

[assassino]

Perhaps his nose no longer notices it, as he is so accustomed to it.

[heloise]

Even so, a quiet life by the sea with one I can love. It is quite a thought, is it not?

[assassino]

It is.

You could be whatever you wanted to be, and take orders from no one.

[heloise]

Only as much as you could go against your father's politics.

[assassino]

Ah, but someday I will be finished with his work, and then I will be free to do whatever I please.