Forty Third Sip

[mal_addict]

[So, in an effort to make her feel...less angry about the events of the last few days, Maladict has gone into town, deciding to throw herself more into her best person duty. After all, if Brock was stupid happy stupid enough to want to get married, he should at least have a decent sendoff. And the art was in the preparation for this sort of thing, she was sure. She flicks through her journal as she walks]

You know, I never thought it would be this easy to find Seamstresses in this world. Guess I was wrong. Seems it's forever the most common profession if people want it to be or not. Nice to know some things are the same here as they are back home.

[Brock]
Candy Muff or Diamond Slick.

Pick one.

[Nikola]
[Ugh, this is not easy to say, especially after her 'you have to make right what you did' rant. Humble pie does not taste good at all]

So, I won't be guarding you any more. I'll probably visit or...something. But no more guarding.

Comments

[unnaturalpause]

No, I know what a vampire is Maladict. [Lady of Ze Night huh? He'll mark that down for later harassment.]

And we are, speaking of the, correct phrase then. [laksjdfsa why didn't Nikola answer this? WHY COULDN'T IT BE HIM?] Seamstresses on Earth, are, not women of that line of work.

[mal_addict]

I should hope so, you spent enough time with one. [No that's not fair]

I know they have a different name. But it's all the same job, I know that much. I'd go into it further, but I think I'll make you have a stroke, and then Helen will yell.

[unnaturalpause]

[It is perfectly fair. After all his Victorianisms are fair game.]

No, Maladict. While it is nice of you to care about my health, which is perfectly fine by the way, you, are, missing the point. [A deep breath before he goes on to hide that slight hint of shame in his voice.] Seamstresses, Maladict, work on clothes.

[mal_addict]

Not where I come from they're not. They have a guild and everything. What do they say? She can thread the needle but she cannot sew.

[unnaturalpause]

[Just, just groan. WHY MAL?]

But, the, seamstresses...[Groan. Hold on looking up the dictionary definition of these words. And writing them down.]

Seamstress:

a woman whose occupation is sewing

Prostitute

a : a woman who engages in promiscuous sexual intercourse especially for money : whore
b : a male who engages in sexual and especially homosexual practices for money

Do you see the difference?

[mal_addict]

Why is it especially homosexual for the man but not for the woman. I mean, womenfolk do that sort of thing too, you know. I remember many a pretty young thing back in the day, there was even this one who could to a little trick with an olive and a toothpick.

...Anyway. It's what we call them in my world, so there.

[unnaturalpause]

It is a, particular view on gender and what roles are socially acceptable on Earth. [And ignoring the rest of that. IGNORING IT. Because he's bright red and so glad he's in his room.]

...and yet did you bother to insure, that the ones you picked up here are of the profession you are looking for?

[mal_addict]

Who wants socially acceptable? That's boring. Give me a bit of socially unacceptable any day. [Pause. She knows, James, oh she KNOWS. This is what you get for trying to get her and Tesla to bump uglies on Valentines] Of course, it's a little frowned upon on the Disc as well, but people still do it. ...I think her name was Tilly. She was also very flexible.

Yes, I went to the right places and talked to them. I've been in a whorehouse, James, I do know what to look for.

[unnaturalpause]

[Why can't you harass Helen like this? WHY NOT?] I imagine she was. [Uncomfortable James is uncomfortable but moving on.] However, women are more commonly seen in such a profession then men.

And just, making sure. Because I would worry about your word choice in such a situation is all.

[mal_addict]

[Because you asked her about seamstresses, that's why] I miss her sometimes. [A chuckle] Well, yes. There aren't many professions a working girl can take and get such good health care and security.

I asked them what they could do and looked about the place. My terminology might be different, but I know what I'm looking for.

[unnaturalpause]

[Not fair.] I would not say such good health care, unfortunately not many treat others, that well.

And are you, certain that whomever you are, gathering these ladies of, certain reputation, would appreciate the thought?

[mal_addict]

No? In my world they're very well taken care of. They have to obey the rules, of course, but they get a pretty good life.

I'm offering them a job, and I'm treating them with respect. If they have any issue, none of them have said anything.

[unnaturalpause]

Then they are rather fortunate truly to be allowed that sort of life. If only other places would follow suit.

And they are not the ones I was referring to, I mean the one you intend them for. Unless you mean to enjoy them yourself, which I believe would make Nikola rather jealous.

[mal_addict]

Clearly the Disc is the world all others should follow the example of.

[A chuckle] No, James, I'm not going to give myself a night of decadence. I don't think I could ever live with the sulking Nikola would throw at me. I'm shopping for a bachelor party.

[unnaturalpause]

In this regard I do believe they should.

[A relieved sigh. GOOD. HE DIDN'T WANT TO DEAL WITH A MOPING NIKOLA.

This does however raise other questions.]

Do not tell me you are organizing Nikola's bachelor party for him. [Dead pan. ISN'T IT A LITTLE EARLY FOR THAT?]

[mal_addict]

[Can you hear the COMPLETE AND UTTER panic in her voice, James? Can you? The unrelenting terror, as if he's just told her someone is going to come and steal all her vital organs and replace them with flesh eating kittens]

What? NO!

[Oh Gods all the panicking. ALL THE PANICKING]

Why? Has he said something to you? Because he hasn't said anything to me and he really should run something like that to a person first, at least twenty hundred years in advance.

[unnaturalpause]

[Oh. OH SHIT. HE DIDN'T MEAN THAT MAL HONEST TO GOD. That terror? Yeah no he didn't mean to put that there.

Even if he finds it funny.

Because ugh no.]

Maladict, I meant that in an entirely light hearted way. [Back peddle harder James.] He has said nothing of the sort to me.

Though...I wonder, why you would not, consider marriage to him, he is after all your, significant other. [...Which totally ruins the first point WTG James.]

[mal_addict]

[Don't mind her, she's just trapped in some horrible nightmare of being trapped as a housewife with all her rights revoked, doomed to keep house and have babies for the rest of her days. Much like what was expected of her before she ran away to join the army.

HORRORS]

It's not funny!

[Of course, of COURSE she knows Nikola would never do that to her. She knows it absolutely. But decades worth of watching and hating are hard to just sluff off]

No! ...I don't know. [Frustrated sigh. James why are you such a dad?] It's complicated.

[unnaturalpause]

[Oops, that does sound horrible really. He can understand that frustration (it sounds an awful lot like Helen really).

So you know. He's not going to laugh right now. Later he will, in private but not now.

He's just going to sound absolutely pleased with himself but try not to (and fail miserably).]

I, apologize for it, I did not realize it would, lead to, such a reaction from you.

[mal_addict]

[She heaves a sigh, because it's not James' fault. She doesn't really open up about her past a whole lot, he wasn't to know.

Still. MARRIAGE BAD. Probably]

Yeah, well. Like I said, it's complicated. I can't...do that right now.

/THREADJACK BECAUSE LOLWHATERY

[vampirize]

[So, guess who's been listening to this conversation, just laughing in his trolling way at how perfect Maladict's responses are, and then suddenly this happens.]

[He almost throws the journal against the door of his cell, he's that shocked.]

James! Really. I mean, really?! Is your head just turned to the "Let's get Maladict and Tesla Together" channel 24/7?

[WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!]

[unnaturalpause]

[YOU KNOW WHAT? SHUT UP NIKOLA!

It is a perfectly logical conclusion with cultural differences, and you two. Just because you can't see it doesn't make it less true.

Though really he sounds disappointed in you.]

Nikola. It is a perfectly sound conclusion with what facts I have available. Would you like me, to imply something else? [Like you guys eloped? He can do that too.]

[vampirize]

Oh, right, so you just assumed that me and her were getting together without telling you. You know, for a man who was the inspiration for Sherlock Holmes, you really act like a guy who fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

[He's just exasperated at this because a) what he does with Maladict is his business, b) now he has to explain to Maladict that he's not planning on marrying her anytime soon except maybe later AND ANYWAYS IT IS AWKWARD, and c) DARN YOU JAMES YOU ARE THE WORST FRIEND.]

It couldn't have occurred to you that maybe someone else is shacking up in this castle and she's going to that? Or do you honestly believe that me and her are the only eligible couple within one hundred miles of this place?

[unnaturalpause]

[It was bound to come up anyway really Nikola. He's just making sure you both get it done and over with soon. Because it's important and he wants you two happy really.

But it's also good troll bait and he's not one to ignore that.]

Nikola. [And it's said rather sternly.] The mere fact that you are, denying this, entire thing, says more than you seem to realize. [We're ignoring insults to his intelligence here.] After all, if you are so quick to deny such a thing, most notably with, her reaction, one would think, it is, in part a gesture of sorts.

[He's never going to not tease you Nikola.]

[vampirize]

Wait, what, are you saying that my denial is just some big cover-up to me proposing to her? James, its like you don't know me at all.

[He lets out a scoff- this is not something he is comfortable about talking about, let alone with James.]

Just shut up and stop trying to find hidden meanings in what we say, James. You won't find anything.