1/001

[wheatdos]

[Oh god, now who is this guy? He's new, and he looks pretty mad. He's pacing the lobby like a mad freak. Fists clenched, hair ruffled and glasses broken, he's pretty hard to ignore because of the fact he's yelling out at the top of his lungs. Someone's gotta hear this guy.]

"Hello!? Helloooooo~
I said hello! Ca-can anybody hear me?
This is a joke... this is a joke right?
Someone-Someone want to tell me what's going on?"

[He pauses, and messes up his newly found hair, and then has a minor freakout. There he goes, talking to himself...]

"Ohhh my god, ahaha... oh this is ridiculous. THIS IS ridiculous, truly and utterly ridiculous!
I can't even conceive how ridiculous this is... this... this is like the epitome of ridiculous right here, right here in one place. It's-"

[He turns around, and trips over his footing, knocking over a vase. Oop.]

Comments

[wheatdos]

[He looks like an ABSOLUTE WRECK. His glasses seemed to have re-broken, and his head is a matted mess. His face seems to be dirty with some sort of soot, and his lab coat and clothes look as if they were burnt. He's grinning rather goofily however, despite that]

"Hehehe, glad to know that you at least remember, my- my name. I was worried you wouldn't and then we'd have to start over. You know, there's a guy in this castle who forgets things everyday, psht. I feel bad for him. Hehehe..."

[doublethefun]

[a few more blinks as she wakes up enough to appreciate his appearance.

Hopping off the bed now.] Didst thou become involved in an explosion of some sort? Hast thou groomed thyself at all?

[wheatdos]

"Um, oh this? Uh, hahaha pay no attention to this, there was just a little, um, accident. Yes. It was pretty, um, pretty bad but I managed to put out the fires. So, so I suppose that was good. As for grooming... well...sss... um, not really, but that, that cant actually be nessecary I mean. There's too little time in the day, I'm obviously not going to waste it."

[He rolls up his sleeve and takes off his glasses, trying to clean the soot off with his arm, but it only smears. He's burnt in little patches, all over the place, including his arms]

"Oh! But the good news is... each and everyone of those books have... been properly gone through with a fine toothed comb. Success, I must tell you."

[doublethefun]

[she wrinkles her nose and then starts shooing him towards the bathroom with a wing]

Thou may tellest me thy findings while I introduce thee to soap and water. And a brush.

[wheatdos]

[He stumbles over as she shoos him. He looks a little confused, but continues to speak anyway]

"We-well, it's fascinating really. The things that you can learn from a book. It's as if my entire brain capacity has increased exponentially. With alot of zeroes. Alot. And, and well- if you'd believe it, some of these people wrote- wrote books about this... castle! About their findings, and apparently, well... um they all failed, but I can easily go through their plans one by one and look at it! It's great, you'd be impressed if you saw it, that's for sure!"

[doublethefun]

If these are books written by the residents, then it is nothing that we, as a whole, do not know already. What have they tried previously?

[once they get to the bathroom, she'll start filling up the tub with warm water. And take his glasses, fix it, and lay it on the counter.]

Thou shouldst take off thy clothes.

[no embarrassment whatsoever; ponies walk around naked all the time.]

[wheatdos]

"Well- loads of stuff. Apparently someone tried burning the castle down at one point and they were punished. Other times this castle'll do things to make sure that you don't get too close to-"

[He stops]

"What? Why??"

[He panics slightly]

"You're- you're not trying to get me in there are you?? It's... it's cold! And... I could drown! I think- at least I read it in a book!"

[doublethefun]

[hm. Burning doesn't work, and punishment.

Frowning.]

Thou reekest most strongly. I assure thee, it is not cold and thou wilt not drown. Nonetheless, thou may placest thy hand in the water to test the temperature of the water.

[wheatdos]

"No! I won't! That stuff is horrid. Absolutely n-"

[He looks at Luna and stares at her, pouting like a baby]

"..."

[Slowly... one finger, he sticks his finger into the water. OH GOD ITS TERIBLY... not that bad actually. He raises his finger and observes the water on his hand]

"...I... I smell? Like, like what?"

[He looks heartbroken]

"Not... like a human?"

[doublethefun]

[yeah cute faces might work better when you've showered within the past two weeks]

Like the worst sort of human.

[and she'll dump in half a bottle of bubble bath for good measure]

[wheatdos]

[HIS HEART. IS BREAKING. WHY DID SHE HAVE TO SAY THAT. Wheatley lets out a whimper and sighs. He tries to not look affected, but he cant, his voice cracks too much.]

"Okay, okay okay fine! Just. Fine, I'll do it. I'll, I'll i'm going!"

[He removes his clothes, and stumbles rather clumsily into the water, splashing water everywhere.]

"Ommmmnngfghhf.. IM DROwnngkggggningg... mmhng..."

[doublethefun]

[no pity here, but she'll use her magic to sit him upright in the tub]

Try to keep thy face above the surface of the water. Now close thy eyes whilst I work on thy mane.

[shampooing that rat's nest right now] And what does the castle do to ensure that we are kept away from...?

[wheatdos]

[He shuts his eyes. But he's FROWNING the entire time]

"We-well. Anything that includes a threat to this castle. But As I study further into the ghosts, I wonder... perhaps I could get their attention, or whatever it is that is the consciousness of this house. Figure out the real intention behind this castle. They cant just want to pluck random individuals out of their lives for the hell of it? There's... no goal to that, and there always has to be an intent... because if that does happen to be true, which- which it isn't! That would be... really... really stupid."

[doublethefun]

[rinsing off the shampoo and getting conditioner into his hair now]

Sometimes, one does not have a greater goal in mind. Sometimes, one may just cause chaos for the sake of chaos.

[wheatdos]

[He is quiet for a long time. It's as if he's thinking.]

"Then... I guess I'd have to return the favor."

[That sounded... a bit... dark, Wheatley. He didn't say it in his usual fast, content tone. It was slow, almost worrisome.]

[doublethefun]

[satisfied he's clean, she finally drains the water and rinses the soap off of him. She floats a couple of towels over. One goes in his hands while she uses the other to dry off his hair.]

One eradicates chaos by restoring order. Adding chaos on top of chaos hardly helps.

Did thy books mention what sort of punishment was meted out for attempting to burn down the castle?

[wheatdos]

[He takes the towel and shakes his head]

"Th-that's just it. It just states SEVERE PUNISHMENT, in big boldly letters and everything, for- for the emphasis. I think- I think I'm going to ask around."

[He looks at her.]

"I'm beginning to wonder what I'm gonna get myself into, to be honest."

[doublethefun]

That would be best. The library is not known for information on Paradisa itself.

[she takes a look at his smelly clothes and teleports them elsewhere. And quietly asks the castle for a new set of clothes.]

[wheatdos]

"I may of... eh..."

[He laughed nervously]

"Scoped the place out for other books once the library was cleared. You'd be surprised at the horrible grammar some people in this castle have."

[He wraps the towel around himself and stands up.]

[doublethefun]

[assuming it was other people's non-magical-castle-journals; 'cause their journals just reads like yours.

Holding out the clothes to him and frowning:] That was rude of thee.

[wheatdos]

"Rude yes! But also practical And Very. very. very. useful."

[He takes the clothes, and begins putting them on. His arms and legs are covered in scratches and cuts. There also looks like a part on his shoulder is burned. He looks just as bad as his old clothes- only cleaner.In fact- what has he been doing?]

"I promise you though, it won't happen again if the chance doesn't arrive again, though. So there you go. Hehehehe."

[doublethefun]

[notices the cuts - now that the dirt is washed off. Dryly] Can I assume they have not been welcoming of thy intrusion? Why art thou hurt?

[wheatdos]

"Huh? Oh this? Haha, um some of them... I think. Some of them are from those awful awful awful stairs, others are from... um experiments I have been working on up in my apartment. It's rather spacey up there. I like it."

[Spacey. No pun intended. hahaha.]

"I wouldn't mind if you didn't just come up and I'd show you. Interesting things indeed, you'd be amazed."

[doublethefun]

[a sigh. She didn't think she'd become a babysitter.] I know thou art not familiar with a blood and flesh body. However, thou shouldst take care of thyself lest an infection takes thee.

Sit and take off thy shirt. [she nods towards the ledge of the bathtub and then floats down a first aid kit]

Before that, I wish to ask thee something of import. How is it that an inanimate object can be sentient?

[wheatdos]

[He sits down at the edge of the bathtub and slicks his wet hair back.He almost didn't realize that she was talking about him]

"M-me? Are you talking about me?"

[He pauses for a moment]

"You- you know I wondered that before. You know. It's like, it's like... they told me it was impossible... for me to feel and... actually have... well be living and things like that. But. I feel so real. Even back when I was a core. I thought for myself and- and things. I didn't repeat myself or anything, and I mean...

[He pinches himself]

"Ow! Y-you you see that? I flinched! Because- well, because it hurt. I mean if I weren't real I wouldn't felt that right? So that's- that's possible... I have to be right?"

[It's like he's asking, more than answering the question.]