1/012: We are frienemies. [Dated back to a day before Larry's date kk]

[wheatdos]

[Wheatley and GLaDOS would be in the kitchen, conversing casually on the first day of their one week truce. That's right everyone, these two psychopaths are actually on a truce. Meaning that they are not going to kill each other or endanger any of the residents of Paradisa.

Wheatley and GlaDOS would be digging through one of the cabinets, looking for a pan... this place really needed to be labeled out. This truce wasn't even a forced one. Spirits would be content, and would even hold an air of amusement.]

"Hmmm... let's see- let's see. Gonna need a pan. Those are important, and... and some eggs. You need eggs to make eggs... oh and some of that... that yellow stuff."

"Of course you need eggs to make eggs, moron."

"Not a moron."

[She would bite back "moron"; that word came too easily. After searching through the cabinets, GLaDOS would eventually find some butter in the fridge, taking it out and offering it to Wheatley.]

"H-how about those little round cakes? Those can't be that difficult to make..."


[Shocked friends of GLaDOS and Wheatley, feel free to barge in on this and ask what the heck is going on!]

Comments

[wheatdos]

"Oh! Right... okay, okay... pour it..."

[He slinks up behind her and reaches over her shoulder, pouring the batter into the pan. What is personal space. This works. He pours it, she cooks it. The perfect plan.

"I can hardly wait for this. Hunger is one of those..."not very good" feelings..."

[sawadeertoday]

[ She tilts her head up, a little surprised but otherwise unperturbed by the invasion of her space. After all, this was the guy that she had been cuddling with before, and that was much closer. ]

It really isn't. I almost pity real humans for feeling this for their entire sad lives. [ she comments as she starts watching the pancake. ]

[wheatdos]

"Can you actually see yourself... being this way? For years?"

[He doesn't want to discourage her but-- okay, maybe he shouldn't have worded it that way...]

[sawadeertoday]

No. [ No, she doesn't want to be this way for so long. She'd probably go insane. It makes her feel and doubt and in her opinion, she felt a bit pathetic. ] I don't want to be this way for so long, either.

[ She keeps a close watch on the pancake, flipping it when needed. ]

[wheatdos]

[When she finished the Pancake, he'd be sure to do the same thing again, pouring the batter.]

"...That's understandable. I suppose it's a...a-reasonable want. Completely logical."

[sawadeertoday]

[ She nods a little, mostly reassuring herself. Although there were some good things about being human. Like that sensation while being close that was like a soft version of testing euphoria.

She was conflicted. She didn't like it. Partly why she just wanted things to go back to normal. ]

I just liked things when they were simple. [ she comments, not liking the tangle of feelings she could hardly pick apart. It burdened her, sometimes would make her unwilling to further her projects, which were for science! ]

Would you mind? Being human for so long.

[wheatdos]

"Mm. Simple. Right. No emotions. Those are real killjoys, aren't they?"

[He... slouches slightly, shaking his head. He shakes his head really... guiltily, as if he were admitting to something absolutely taboo.]

"Not at all! It isn't that bad. I try not to think about being human too much, I... well, I suppose we're two different cases. You go back to your lab. Everything's fine. No problems there. You can continue on your life, happy. Doing what you love.

"...This is great..! If I could've just brought my core here. Would've been perfect."

[And still. Not even a remotely angry tone from him...]

[sawadeertoday]

[ She's almost disturbed by the lack of anger. It's odd.

But she wonders if she would be happy to be human if she were in his shoes. She likely would. Even she needed some interaction other than an insane core babbling about space. ]

It's understandable. [ She's not angry at him. She's even a bit contemplative about being human as well, even if she has a lot more reservations about it. Having a good life full of science and testing waiting for her. ]

There's a few nice things about being human. Maybe more if I cared to go out and find them. Staying close while sleeping, for one. [ She's not quite understanding of what it implies in human culture, so she doesn't mind voicing it. ]

[wheatdos]

"Haha, yeaaaaaaaah that is pretty great."

[He didn't know either, so here they are, just talking about it casually in the kitchen.]

"You know... minus the weird dreams... h-how much longer before those pancakes finish, love?"

[He's SO HUNGRY. And he's surprisingly eager to take her out.]

[sawadeertoday]

Besides the dreams. It was nice.

[ she admits. Imagine someone overhears this. ]

They should be finished... right about... now.

[ She finishes this pancake, which is thankfully the last, and drops it on top of the others on that plate. She then turns off the stove and leaves the pan on the counter. what is washing dishes ] There. Now, we need another plate for one of us.

[wheatdos]

[Don't worry about it. He's already holding another plate. Where did he get that from? Only proof about really how hungry he is. You'd think he forgets to eat or something, but then again, don't put it past him. And as for those dishes Wheatley is not stepping up so no one is washing those.

"Oh, this is exciting. We actually made something... Can you believe it? I can't. W-well I can, obviously because we did, but... don't look at me like that, you know what I mean."

[sawadeertoday]

[ She takes the majority of the pancakes off of the first plate to give them to him, considering he would probably require more to eat, considering how much larger he was. She kept two for herself, wanting to save room for the cake. She wouldn't admit it, but she was excited to try it after so many years of talking about it. ]

Well, we'll find out if we made it right once we eat it, [ she says; don't count your chickens before they hatch, Wheatley! She takes her own plate and brings it to the table, seating herself immediately before taking the first pancake and ripping it into small pieces. also what are forks and knives ]

[wheatdos]

[He follows after her and would sit across from her on the table. He remembers vaguely something about forks and knives, but he's too hungry to think about it. He rips it up, getting ready to eat it. He's grinning.]

"Are you ready, love?"

[sawadeertoday]

... Ready when you are. [ She lifts one of the small pieces up to her lips, ready to eat it. She hoped it was at least edible; the pancake didn't look so bad, after all... She's also still smiling a little. ]

[wheatdos]

"...Alright. Let's go."

[He doesn't hesitate to eat it.

But...he doesn't chew.
He... stares at her.
...his eyes... gets...huge.

oh god no.

He spits it out. On the floor, and begins choking.]

"AGGHHH...GHngnhh!!! Ahh! KUH-KUHGH... OH GOD... OH GOD... AHHHH....AHHHHH.... AHH... OH GOD... WHAT-WH-WHAT??"

[He just... stumbles to get up, coughing.]

"My-my mouth! It's... ahhhhhhhh! WH-What IS THIS? MY. MOUTH. MY MOUTH IS. NOT... GOOD RIGHT NOW."

[HOW DO YOU DESCRIBE SPICY. He doesn't even know to get water welp.]

[sawadeertoday]

[ She also doesn't chew, the pancake burning up her mouth in seconds. She spits it out, thankfully on the plate rather than on the floor. these two are really messing up the kitchen

She isn't choking, but she's coughing a little and her eyes are watering up. ]

W-...we need... something cold, I think-- [ she gets up, sprinting to the fridge to grab a water pitcher, hurrying around to get two glasses and pouring them a bit messily, but who cares because her mouth is literally on fire! She holds one out to Wheatley, beginning to chug the other glass as quickly as possible.

It's actually pretty helpful... ]

[wheatdos]

[He takes it. And chugs it in one swift movement, some of the water missing his mouth. He doesn't stop there, he scrambles to the pitcher and chugs it right out from there.

Finally... the fire calms itself, and he's left gasping for air from drinking all that water...]

"What...[huff]...what? What the-- what was that? That was..."

[It tasted like burnt fire. How is that possible? It could have maybe tasted good to those people who eat flames...]

"Not what I expected... at all. Not even slightly."

[sawadeertoday]

[ She's still coughing a little from downing water so fast, putting the glass down on the counter. ]

I think we made it wrong. Either that, or humans are insane.

[ She wipes at her mouth with her pajama sleeve, where there's some from her earlier frenzy to drink as much as possible. ]

... I... don't think we should finish those.

[wheatdos]

[He's just standing there... breathing. Oh god what.]

"How about we just... skip breakfast. Suddenly I'm not starving anymore. Still hungry, but I think I'll live long enough to go out for some cake. or anything. That isn't that. Oh god, it's still in my mouth..."

[sawadeertoday]

[ She nods briefly. ]

I think I'll pass.

Do you think we could stop by my room before we go out? I'm still in pajamas. [ And she's not going out in those. No sirree. ]

[wheatdos]

"Yes. Right, ok. We can do that. Let's uh... let's do that now."

[He nods, clearing his throat, ignoring the state of the kitchen. Lead the way, GLaDOS.]

[sawadeertoday]

[ She's ignoring it too.

And off she goes, expecting Wheatley to follow her as she heads immediately for the stairs, going up until they reach her room. She opens the door, heading inside and glancing at him. ]

Wait here. I won't be long.

[ Aaaand she'll shut the door, immediately stripping and about to get into her usual jumpsuit when she hesitated.

Maybe she could try something different. After all, they were going to be among humans if they went out. So she wished up a simple wide v-necked blue shirt with long sleeves and some black fitting pants. Along with some simple black shoes.

After quickly getting into those, she made to brush her hair (it was positively sticking up everywhere, and even if she wasn't really human in spirit, she had to at least look presentable if she was to be taken seriously) before coming back to the door and opening it. ]

Alright. Let's go.

SHOOOES.

[wheatdos]

[He'd just... awkwardly stand outside, not really sure what he should do with himself while he waited. He paced up and down the hallway to try to look occupied and not get any weird faces.

Standing outside of people's rooms... doesn't give you the best looks.

When she came back, he slinked back to her, and adjusted his tie. Casual clothing. He felt a little out of place. Next time he'll be sure to try to find something more casual. He already made note of it, subconsciously thinking of something in orange.

He'd nod and walk out with her.]

"There's a whole bunch of things the humans do to keep themselves occupied. Do you want to get the- uh, the cake first?"

need dem shoes

[sawadeertoday]

[ She would fiddle a bit with the sleeves and the hem of the shirt awkwardly every so often, not used to wearing different clothes as they made their way outside. ]

We could eat first. After all, we didn't really get any breakfast. And... then we could do something else. If you have ideas. [ She has no objections. Really, if she's not going to be trying to kill him for the entire week, she doesn't have anything to do.

Sad, but true. ]

Re: need dem shoes

[wheatdos]

"Ahhhhhh, I've got a few Ideas. Good ones. Yo-you know."

[/facepalm.

They exit the castle, eventually. WELCOME TO THE OUTSIDE.]

"Have you really never gone out? At all? Not even out on the grounds? That forest doesn't count either..."