paradisa | 1/012: We are frienemies. [Dated back to a day before Larry's date kk]

Current Location: kitchen

Entry tags:

glados,
wheatley

1/012: We are frienemies. [Dated back to a day before Larry's date kk]

[Wheatley and GLaDOS would be in the kitchen, conversing casually on the first day of their one week truce. That's right everyone, these two psychopaths are actually on a truce. ~~Meaning that they are not going to kill each other or endanger any of the residents of Paradisa.~~

Wheatley and GlaDOS would be digging through one of the cabinets, looking for a pan... this place really needed to be labeled out. This truce wasn't even a forced one. Spirits would be content, and would even hold an air of amusement.]

"Hmmm... let's see- let's see. Gonna need a pan. Those are important, and... and some eggs. You need eggs to make eggs... oh and some of that... that yellow stuff."

"Of course you need eggs to make eggs, moron."

"Not a moron."

[She would bite back "moron"; that word came too easily. After searching through the cabinets, GLaDOS would eventually find some butter in the fridge, taking it out and offering it to Wheatley.]

"H-how about those little round cakes? Those can't be that difficult to make..."

[Shocked friends of GLaDOS and Wheatley, feel free to barge in on this and ask what the heck is going on!]

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[ .............. What even.

The camera flash catches her off guard, too, and she frowns at the human. ]

We're not a couple. [ That's all she has to say. Well, besides: ] Besides, why would you want a picture of people you don't know?

"..."

[Oh, she's got this one. He's just going to let GLaDOS take this one over. Just going to slink back to his seat. Sitting there. Watching very quietly so that no one can bring him up into this.

A COUPLE. Oh god no. Never. Not with a monster like her.]

"Oh... you're not? I had no idea. You two seemed so-...uhh..."

[Oh god GLaDOS you're intimidating the photographer. It's like Aperture all over again.]

[ Oh, GLaDOS has got this. Don't worry. She stands up, crossing her arms. ]

Well, clearly you have issues with seeing. It must be your fat eye-lids, covering your stupid eyes. Either that, or you really must have no social life if you're going around taking pictures of other humans'. Just so you can go home and cry over how sad your life is, because you aren't likeable enough to attract any positive attention. Or rather, any attention at all.

[ She's on a ROLL. Have a smug smirk that had somehow wormed its way on her face in the midst of her rant. ]

"Um... love..?"

[A very feeble voice... He just... mutters it. It's almost like he doesn't really want GLaDOS to hear him.]

"Love..."

[Oh screw it. Not going to say a thing. The photographer on the other hand, looks as if she's about to cry.]

"...You're... you're awful!"

Awful? [ She sounds genuinely amused. GLaDOS has too much fun making people feel worthless okay, and it's good therapy considering how awkward and frustrated she's been feeling as of late. ] The truth is an awful thing. I just figured you might as well know it. It's all facts.

[ Ohhh this is great. She's almost glad that stupid human came to them in the first place. Almost. ]

Now, if you could leave me and my friend to our social life. The thing you're desperately lacking.

[Her eyes wells up, and she runs away crying.]

...

[A pause.]

"Well... that...."

[Another pause.]

"Could have gone loads better."

I think that went wonderfully. Now none of those idiots will bother us anymore. [ She seems a bit too gleeful.

She tries to tone it down though. ]

Now, we can continue with this cake. Which is amazing, by the way. [ Happy happy happy. ]

[At least she's happy. He recognizes it immediately!]

"O-oh! Right!"

[He opens another one. This one is a classic angel cake.]

"You sounded like yourself for a moment, b-back in the lab y'know. Close your eyes, love."

[He laughs a little nervously, and then scoops up the angel cake.]

[ She also had felt like herself. Ah, that was refreshing. She closes her eyes upon his command, excited to sample more cake. She asks before he even gets to her: ] What kind is this one?

[Uhhh...He pauses for a moment and looks at the box.]

"Uhhhmmm... it sayyys...angel cake. Huh. Angel cake? Not sure why they call it that. Angels don't exist. Unless they don't exist because the humans grinded and mashed them all up for cake..."

[This time, he just leans over the table to feed her.]

[ Wheatley's explanation made her laugh a tiny bit. Of course he would come up with something like that.

GLaDOS takes the cake, chewing thoughtfully and swallowing. It was still pretty good! ]

Not bad. I doubt it's made of mashed-up angels, though. [ She would open her eyes, amused by the idea of eating actual angels. ]

[He'd take a bite too. Hmm... not bad. And then of the chocolate.]

"Chocolates good, I've gotta say. Phenomenal. Never tasted anything quite like it... chocolate is definitely my favorite so far...okay... next one... next one..."

[A super sweet caramel. He figured he probably didn't have to tell her to close her eyes the third time.]

"It's...this thing... called caramel."

I like the chocolate one too so far. [ she would agree, before closing her eyes. No, she was getting used to this. ]

Caramel? Hm. [ She would stop talking so that he could feed her that piece, too. ]

[He nods, and feeds her the caramel one. After this comment, I'll probably do a timeskip for the rest of the cakes.

This isn't so bad. They were really getting along with her. And she hasn't insulted him the entire time that they were here. Don't think he didn't notice. It was really boosting up his confidence too.]

[ I can do a timeskip of cakes~

The taste-testing seemed to never end, and truly, it was kind of fun. Not knowing what sort of cake came next unless she asked, and he always informed her. Finally, it seemed that they had run out of cakes to try, and thankfully so! GLaDOS was full.

She gave a content sigh. GLaDOS was holding back on any comments she had, considering they were officially "friends" for the week and friends didn't insult each other- at least, not to her knowledge. ]

Now I understand why cake is such a good motivator for test subjects. [ She had ruined a human's day, eaten cake and the moron wasn't being quite as annoying as he could be. This was a perfect day; well, minus their mishap in the kitchen. ]

[~~What mishap that was clearly science~~

Look at that dork. He's so happy that she's happy that he can hardly contain that dorky little grin that he put on for only the stupidest of occasions.]

"Yeah! Tell me about it..."

[He got up to streeeeeeetch. It was at that moment, Wheatley had remembered that GLaDOS would have her human courtship date with Larry. Haha. He stifled a laugh just thinking about it. He had a whole bunch of places that he wanted to go to. Some of them was just to show her, while others were for his own selfish wants because he didn't want to go alone. Maybe one at a time was a good idea. Chop them up into days, so she wasn't so overwhelmed.]

"Aha... you know I just remembered that I probably shouldn't have brought you here today. Still glad I did, but I forgot about what lies ahead. Ab-about Your schedual'll being full tomorrow, n'all. You know... with him. Takes a day out of this whole friendship thing, but no bother. Guess that leaves day after."

[ The dorky grin was something quite different from his sly smirks that angered her. Instead, it made him look stupid, and as much as they were currently friends, GLaDOS liked having the intellectual upper hand. Even if this wasn't exactly a battle of wits. Actually, the lack of competition was nice, every once in awhile. ]

Hm, that's right. I need to visit him, don't I. [ The whole idea of the courtship makes her cringe momentarily. She doesn't want something like that. Something that would lead to disgusting reproduction methods. Ick. Thankfully, friendship wasn't as primitive in that sense. ] We still have the rest of the week. And really, being busy with these kinds of activities... isn't so bad.

[ She's referring to Wheatley and these pointless but nice friendship activities. ] So, what do you want to do next?

[He gives a thoughtful pause, and stares at all the open boxes of cake. Haha, are they supposed to clean this up? He thinks not. Standing up, he puts his hands in his pockets and tries to remember all of the stores he saw when he was with...that guy.]

"Uhhhhh... I eh... uhhhhh..."

[He isn't good at this. He isn't good at this. He isn't good at this. He looks out of the window, furrowing his brow thoughtfully.]

"How... abouttt..."

[His attention turns momentarily to see the theater. Right. Human entertainment. Something he REALLY knew nothing about. Are movies really any good? He's never seen an actual one... Is that even a good idea?]

"We... uh! Oh! Oh! We can go there. Maybe."

[ GLaDOS is intending on bringing at least two unfinished boxes with her. Because cake.

It's actually really good! So she picks out two at random, closing them up and holding them.

She follows him when he exits, curious. A theater. She had a feeling she knew what it was, somewhere in the back of her mind, until she remembered. ]

Alright. [ And she keeps close to him, considering maybe the birds were out to get her. ] A theater, hm? That's where humans watch movies, right?

"Yes! Exactly. Great. I've never actually seen a human movie. Heard about part of one, though. No opinion on it really. Even when they told me about it... di-didn't know what was happening. Something about a girl being in a house that had dead humans in it. Didn't make much sense... since they were dead... but-but not. Supposed to be a horror film. I say they should've put turrets in it. Humans are scared of turrets. Haha, really scared."

[Those birds. Flapping around menacingly. They can see you GLaDOS. They can seeee you. And they're all waiting for a moment to get you when the big guy isn't looking.

Wheatley just rambles on, not even noticing those beady little eyes.]

[ GLaDOS listens to his rambling, smiling a little at the comment about turrets. ] I agree. It would make a great movie.

[ Aaaand the birds are exactly the reason why GLaDOS is sort of pressing into Wheatley's side right now, even if it would be comfortable otherwise. Actually, she knows what would be the perfect horror film. "Attack of the Birds". She could see it in her mind's eye as a total hit. ] ... They're still there...

[ she couldn't help but let out, quietly. ]

[It's funny because it exists.

Wheatley would look at her really cluelessly for a moment Until she says "They're still there..."

Birds? Wow, he never really noticed how many were always flying around. Upon observation, he also noticed a few of the other humans who also had their friends at their side, putting their arm over their shoulder. Wheatley noted this, and did the exact same thing, trying to nudge her reassuringly.]

"H-hey... uh, it'll uh... b-be okay."

[What is comforting.]

[ GLaDOS snuggled into his side, feeling oddly more protected with his arm around her. His words weren't as comforting as his gesture, but hey, close enough. ]

Hm. I'm surprised none of the other humans realize how dangerous those monsters are. [ she would make conversation in return, hoping they would reach shelter soon. ]

[He quickened his pace. The movies were right across the street. She'd live.]

"Maybe those ones over there... are not evil! They're good birds. Just... just looking around."

Edited 2012-07-10 20:20 (UTC)

[ Don't worry, she's doing fine. As long as she knows Wheatley's her human shield. Well, she's still a little anxious, but nothing too terrible. ]

Yes, right, of course. [ she snorts, leaning her head on him as well. ] "Good" birds looking for something to eat. Preferably meaty humans.

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WHY ON EARTH WOULD THAT AMUSE YOU?! THAT IS A TERRIBLE THING.

SHE *IS* A TERRIBLE THING -- well AI

ANGEL EATING AI.

omnom angels

rjgkjdfkgfkg

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omg these two should laugh at horror movies together 8'D

omg what if its a horror movie about evil robots xD

asfkasf;; GOOD TIMES WILL BE HAD

attack of the evil ai;;

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SHE IS A TERRIBLE THING -- well AI