PARADISA

[Chell's endlessly glad she rescued the DJ equipment she'd found in Mark and Nora's old room before the Castle started all this stupidness with changing everything around. Sure, it'd taken the help of a friend to get the courage to go up there, but it'd been worth it. The key had been left for a reason. But now she's standing there, on a bright, chilly autumn afternoon, staring at it all sitting on her desk, and at the small piece of paper she'd found taped down amidst the seemingly infinite stacks of CDS, records and cassettes. Talk hard, he'd said. How was she supposed to do that when everything was changing around her? Well, he'd left this to her, hadn't he? She'd have to try. And it wasn't like he'd not taught her to use the equipment.

So, taking a deep, steadying breath, she sits down in her chair, flips on the equipment and begins to speak. She doesn't even bother to disguise her voice. If you recognize her, that's all right. If you don't, that's okay too. Her voice starts off soft and uncertain, but grows in confidence as she speaks.]

Good afternoon, Wonderfuck. This is your one-stop source for news and bitching. No, I'm not Hard Harry, obviously, and I'm not trying to take his place. I couldn't even if I did want to try. But there're some things that are bothering me, so I'm going to speak up. Maybe they bother some of you too.

Firstly, this room assignment change crap. I mean, I don't mind where I am. I'm next-door to somebody I know. But still. That was a heaping load of shit, just dumping us outside the Castle like that. What the hell was that all about?

But I know WHY the room change. The Castle has sent so many people home lately. And that's the crux of what's worrying me. I've lived here over a year. I've seen this place send people home a lot. A lot of my friends got sent home that way. But usually, if the Castle sends a lot of people home, it gets a lot of new residents. And that isn't happening this time. But that hasn't happened this time. And if the theories in the world notes are correct, then what can that mean? I don't know. Does anyone have any ideas?

While I'm on the subject of Wonderfuck's ever-present fuckery, could you please send me a message if you're still here? So many people are gone, that I kind of want to know who's left, if for no other reason than to keep an eye on things, to see if I can find a pattern in who has gotten sent home. Also, if anybody has noticed anything newsworthy, let me know.

And one last thing. People, keep fighting. If we stop fighting, even with everything going to hell like this, we're only giving this place what it wants. And I for one won't be backing down. But then, the other person broadcasting said that way better than me, and I owe them a thank you.

[And with that, she snaps off her equipment, and idly pets the head of one of the three cats which had once belonged to her friend Django, and tries to wipe away the tears prickling at the back of her eyes.]

Here's to you, Mark and Nora.

[She muttered to herself, and to all the animals who'd crowded around her]

I hope I did justice to your legacy.

[Chell's sitting in the lobby, eating a shaved ice and trying to keep cool, and flipping through the journal when she thinks of a question to pose.]

I read somewhere that if you crack an egg, you can put it in direct sun long enough, and it will fry. Do you suppose if I were to put an egg on the roof it would fry? And if so, how long would it take?

Also, does anybody have any idea what's going on? I've only experienced one fall before this, but it doesn't seem natural? Isn't it supposed to get cooler? Like it was yesterday?

Oh... If you're also as burned up as I am, I found a recipe for something called shaved ice, and I've wished up ingredients and made one for myself. But I'd be happy to make more if anyone else wants one too.

[Chell's been looking back through her journal, sitting on her bed, paging through as usual when something dawns on her. Digging up a pen, she flips to the blank page and writes.]

Oh my god. I missed my own one-year paraversary.I was so deeply engrossed in packing and training for the expedition that I entirely forgot when it was. God. It doesn't seem like a year that I have lived here. Well... at least the Castle didn't decide to do anything dumb. But I... guess I should celebrate? Anybody want to go out for coffee or something with me?

[She stares around her room, praying something ridiculous doesn't happen. She definitely doesn't need to turn into a cat, an eyeless buffalo or anything else ridiculous right now.

[Good morning, fellow Hogwarts students! Have one 1 very skittery-looking Gryffindor running around the common room, peering around under the furniture, and generally staying close to the ground. Her open journal is lying on the chair that she's currently looking under, and it's picking up what she's muttering.]

Where IS he? Couldn't have gotten far. Oh crap.

[What do?]

[Every week or so, without fail, Chell has been wandering by the animal shelter in town. She's been looking for the perfect animal. Having a Magikarp is awesome... But sometimes she wants an animal who's more mobile than a Magikarp. And today she's found the perfect pet.

She's standing in front of a kennel, wherein is sitting adog. Not just any dog though. It's a dog of indeterminate breed, with one ear that perpetually droops over, one brown eye and one blue and a docked tail. His fur is a mottled black and brown but he has a random white ring around one eye, and a white spot on his butt.]

"Would you like to adopt him, dear?"

[the worker asked with a smile as she had for many animals, but this time Chell nodded her head. And a few minutes later, she was walking out of the shelter with a leash in hand.]

[And a little while later, Chell opens her journal and writes a question to the residents at large.]

If you adopted a dog, what would you name it?

[She sketches a picture into the journal for reference.]

[Chell's sitting on the edge of this bed that's not her own, staring around the room in confusion. She'd gone to bed the night before in her bed in the Castle and this morning she'd awakened... here. Wherever here was.

The whole place seemed to be rocking back and forth ever so slightly, and when she crawled slowly off of her bed and peered out, all she could see was bright, blue water stretching away. What... was this? What had the castle got her into this time?

Reaching down, she snagged her journal and wrote a quick message.]

What has the Castle got us into THIS time?

[And then she's off, slipping out of her room, trying to keep her footing on the gently rocking floor, and off to explore her surroundings.]

[OOC: Chell's on that cruise ship about a mile from the island. And she's exploring. Feel free to run into her if you're on the cruise ship, or to talk over the journals.]

[Well hello there, residents. Have a scrawl coming across the journal. The handwriting is absolute crap, worse than usual even.]

All is lost. They do not see that there is one thing to save them. One thing. They will see soon enough. They do not see what I have seen. They do not see... Do not fight the darkness.

[This last line is written over and over with increasing ferocity, until her pen is nearly tearing holes in the journal page due to its pressure and then perhaps something even more chilling.]

Are you out there? Are you listening? I hear you. I will help you. Don't worry. Don't you see? Death is the only salvation?

[OOC: Guess who's completely off her gourd right now?]

[Chell's standing stock-still, staring at the fiery mouth of the furnace which will be the death of her only friend. All around her, GLaDOS's voice booms. The AI is taunting her.]
"Rest assured that an independent panel of ethicists has absolved the
Enrichment Center, Aperture Science employees, and all test subjects for all
moral responsibility for the companion cube euthanizing process."

[She drops to her knees, hugging the cube of hard metal on the floor in front of her, tears falling from her eyes.]
Euthanize your companion cube!

[Chell feels her heart breaking. But she knows. This is the only way. Hefting the cube she sets it gently into the incenerator... And wakes, safe in her bed, with a hoarse shriek of terror and grief. And of course, because the castle is an ass, her journal is lying there, innocently open on the table next to her bed. With a trembling hand, she reaches toward it, perfectly intending to simply check, to make sure that she's really still in the Castle... But as she drags the open journal toward her, she gets a good look at her hand and another hoarse shriek fills the air... Her fingers are covered with what looks like wet ash, and it's now smudging all over the journal page. Shakily she draws a breath, staring down at her journal. Yes. It's her journal. This is her room in the Castle. She's not in Aperture. Reaching to the table again, she grabs for a pen and shakily writes a message, not caring for a moment that she sounds like a loon.]

My hands... There is ash on my hands. I didn't mean to do it.

[God she thought she'd managed to bury that. She seriously thought that Aperture was finally mostly gone from her mind. And she'd tried, so carefully not to think about her past, about incinerating her friend. But she had. She'd failed the cube. She'd betrayed it. A tear topples off her eyelashes, spattering the page.]

[It was a beautiful day. Chell realized that as soon as she opened her eyes. She couldn't figure exactly what made it so beautiful. But the air around the castle seemed somehow lighter, somehow freer. Swinging her feet over the side of her bed, she stood up, and padded to her door. How could she possibly stay in her room on such a nice day as this?

Flinging open her door, though, she dislodged something brightly-colored, which tumbled across the floor in front of her. Leaning down, she picked up a beautifully-painted egg.

The former test subject stood, frozen in place for a long moment, just turning the egg over and over in her long fingers, staring at the beautiful colors. Where could this have come from? And what was she to do with it? And were there more hidden somewhere? She could look herself... Or she could ask the residents. Opening her journal, she first pens in a filter.]

( To whomever hid a brightly-colored egg outside my door )

[And then to the Castle in general...]

Has anyone else found any brightly-colored eggs hidden around? Can you explain to me why such a thing is done?

[OOC: TW for anyone with a fear of heights or problems with suicide even though that's not what Chell's doing.]


[It's early morning in Holly Peaks, and Chell has escaped her room for the fourth time in two days. She's standing on the roof, holding her journal in one hand, walking slowly toward the edge. She'll survive if she does, of course. She still has her boots and she's still sure of the springs' viability. The journal rests open on her palm. and she's speaking, yes actually speaking to it Over her voice you can hear the shriek of the alarms that signal an escape attempt by a patient]

You know. It's been far too long since I did something fun. All I've been doing is sitting here in my room and dodging nurses when I want a breath of fresh air, and they won't even let me get any. And I'm tired of it. I want my freedom, dammit.

[She coughs and spits off the roof.]

I'm still as fit as I always was. Anybody want to come watch me? Come on out. Get some fresh air. I'm sure some of you are getting tired of living in your rooms and being under these nurses' thumbs too.