onlyanapple: (Have a light)
[personal profile] onlyanapple
[Crowley has been, as he is wont to do on occasion, engaging in his most favourite pastime of sleeping. Today, though, he wakes up, flicking idly through the journal as he dictates. ]

Oh joy, looks like I missed some spooky bollocks. That's my heart broken right now. I do so love to engage in spooky bollocks.

I feel robbed.
onlyanapple: (Your emotions amuse me)
[personal profile] onlyanapple
In amongst all these awfully important questions, I think a riddle is in order. An oldie, but a goodie, in my humble opinion.

Everyone was on a first name basis until suddenly someone got something in his eye. What happened?

If you get the right answer, you'll get nothing but the satisfaction that you got it right.

[No, wait, he can make it fun for him, too.]

...That and a mystery gift.
onlyanapple: (Enjoying some smug)
[personal profile] onlyanapple
[Crowley tends to avoid most Earth holidays. Once you've lived through the first hundred or so of them, they tend to get rather repetitive. But April Fools is one he's always enjoyed. Of course, in most of the time he's been in Paradisa, April Fools was haunted by horrible, screeching singing, and as such, Crowley had remained in his room for a while, listening.

With the complete lack of people singing their feelings out, Crowley decided the castle had finally, at least, given its musical of death a rest, and headed out to do what any self respecting demon would do on a holiday such as this: make other's lives miserable.

And so, he has wandered around the castle, leaving little pranks here and there. Such as air horns on doors and leaving chocolate-coated onions in the kitchen.. The one he sticks around to watch, however, is his old favourite. The entire lobby floor is now waxed to an inch of its life, making it nothing but a promise of amusing arm flailing and possibly broken limbs.

Crowley himself sits at his favourite spot in the lobby, with a glass of wine, happily watching proceedings, his journal open to catch any fallout from his other pranks.

This is much better than singing, I'm sure you'll all agree.
onlyanapple: (Your emotions amuse me)
[personal profile] onlyanapple
[It has taken a trek up to the castle, and a day's worth of people watching, but Crowley has finally figured out what's causing the Christmas kissing, and as such, feels it's time to carry on his sacred duty to the castle at large.

He sits in a chair in the lobby, idly twisting a sprig of mistletoe between his thumb and forefinger. His journal open on the table beside him, he idly dictates into it

Well, well, my dear fellow residents. It's that time of year again. As some of you may have noticed, there is a lot of unwilling lip locking going on. This is regular, and pointless to fight. Might as well ride it out until it's done.

Every year, I pose a little challenge, open to anyone who wants to play. Whoever gets the most kisses during this interesting little season gets a basket of alcohol of their choice, and bragging rights for the rest of the year. Anything you manage to get beyond a kiss, willingly mind you, earns you double points.

So...who's game?

[[ooc: Open for planned and unplanned kissing]]
onlyanapple: (Thinking)
[personal profile] onlyanapple
[There's the sound of pages turning, not from the main journal, but from one a short distance from this open one. Crowley has to wonder how many residents still even HAVE an old journal. Not many, he bets. Really, it doesn't bother him as much as he should, his newly found factoid. The passing of time is of little consequence to him. Still, it should probably be said, so after a moment, he deigns to speak]

It managed to pass me completely by, but I've passed the five year mark, living here now. Small change, really, but still something. [A few more pages turning] I think I'm the longest serving resident here, now.

...Thought I'd at least get a little trophy for that. Perhaps a commemorative plate. But nothing. Way to be cheap, Paradisa.
onlyanapple: (Hacking)
[personal profile] onlyanapple
So, while that lot are doing their thing, I thought I would take it upon myself to entertain the castle. I know, it's such a heroic sacrifice on my part, one that doesn't require rushing headlong into obvious danger like a suicidal lemming.

[There's some tapping of computer keys] For those of us with access to it, if you'd like to upload CastleNet, you'll find some new games to entertain your tiny attention spans. Have fun. Let me know which one you hate the most.

Oh, and whoever is was who decided to make the Bentley look like a fucking boombox? I'l going to find you and break every single finger in a hand of your choosing. Use this time to deeply consider which hand you'd like to be maimed.

[On CastleNet, there are indeed new games. The Useless CastleNet - a page which leads to even more pointless pages, which Crowley has carefully added. Circle the Cat - a game wherein you need a cat. And the dreaded, hated Cookie Clicker]

Teach 247.

Aug. 2nd, 2013 11:17 pm
onlyanapple: (Your emotions amuse me)
[personal profile] onlyanapple
[Congratulations Muggle Studies students. You have Professor A.J Crowley to teach you the finer things about the world of muggles. He has his journal open on his desk, into which he dictates into as he wheels into the classroom an old TV and an even older VCR. Sorry he's from 1990, what do you expect?]

You've got exactly three seconds to get through the doors for my class before I send something nasty after you. Just a fair warning, kids!

[That done, and his journal still open, he turns on the TV, static crackling away, 'snow' all over the screen]

Today you're going to learn the ancient muggle art of programming a VCR. You need to get the TV onto a channel, get a blank cassette into the VCR, program it to the channel you want and record five minutes of that specific program. Student who does it fastest gets ten points ot their house or something. I don't care.

[He sits on his chair, putting his feet up on his desk and pulling out a hipflask]

You kids get right on that while I sit here and drink my...butterbeer and grade your efforts.
onlyanapple: (Tail)
[personal profile] onlyanapple
[Crowley seems very amused with the sudden costume change. After all, it's a perfect opportunity to mock others, to enjoy their suffering under the hopes they'll take it out on someone else and add to the general net evil in the castle.

Crowley himself is lounging on a deck chair in the garden of Cas Guts, watching townspeople walk back, completely unashamed with the certain ninja outfit he's been forced into. The blonde wig is annoying, but the fishnets are attracting attention so they make up for it. He's sipping some wine, really enjoying himself

I don't know what you're all complaining about, it's fun. Besides, bitching about it is just a way to tell your friends you think they dress like idiots. Pretty big dick move if you think about it.
onlyanapple: (Badass)
[personal profile] onlyanapple
[Crowley hasn't been back in to Casa Guts since the Even Horizon mess. He's stayed away, giving South time to deal with what the castle had made him do to her, to find some security in her life again. But now she's given him the all clear, he's gone back to what is undoubtedly somewhere he can call home.

He wanders the rooms at first, noting any changes, checking on his housemates without making it look like he's openly doing so, and eventually, he heads back to his room

Okay, you leafy little fuckers, you might of had a holiday, but now I'm back, you'd better pick up any slack those sissys let you -

[He pauses, noticing the black lab sitting with his menagerie. He frowns, confused, heading over to his already open journal and flicking through the pages desperately. He'd been in such a self-involved state for so long, this had slipped him by]

When did Lana leave the castle?
onlyanapple: (Sauntered vaguely downward)
[personal profile] onlyanapple
[Crowley hasn't used his journal since before the Event Horizon mess. He's still living in the Nines, giving South time to deal with everything, assuming she ever can. But he's begun to miss the contact of those he cares about. He's even missed just...talking to people.

He doesn't exactly feel like expressing this, so he'll settle for being vague and annoying instead. He offers no greeting, no explanation for his absence. Just straight to the point.

You awaken a powerful goddess from an enchanted sleep, in gratitude for this, she offers you three gifts, telling you that you could take one, and one alone.

The first gift is immortality. The second is the ability to alter the past. The third gift is all the knowledge the universe holds.

Which one would you choose, and why?

Casa de Guts )
ensorceler: (❧ all the right friends)
[personal profile] ensorceler
may day!

[ The castle grounds holding the gardens have been transformed into a spring party sensation. Tall banners carrying the Tudor rose have been arranged in a representation of a border surrounding the celebration and events, but there are no real walls or barriers. It might make guarding difficult for the few in her employ, but that's hardly Queen Anne's problem. Nobody will be kept away unless they arrive with no mask (or representation of a mask), and although it might be hard to tell considering it's a masquerade, there will be some people (not many) from the city who have decided tentatively to accept Anne's invitation, helping fill in the crowd.

The theater stage has been covered in flowers of all sorts, as are the four wooden thrones arranged in the center. Each seat is taken, a tie for both King and Queen making for double the fun! Robb and Lucrezia have dressed as Orion and Diana, while Zelos and Galadriel have chosen Odysseus and Penelope (with a little help). The tops of their heads have been left bare, at least for the opening ceremony.

In front of them stands Anne in her costume, and she waits for the crowd to quiet before she speaks. ]

Good citizens of Cair Paradisa and City Royale, you come here today to seek pleasure and company, and I have never seen a finer or more unique looking peoples. I know you may find it difficult to smile in the wake of such recent tragedy. All here have known loss, but we have not let it conquer us, have we? God is with us. Brave souls here risked the unknown to discover the cause, while other remained to help rebuild. I am fiercely proud to see such dedication to one another, and I can only hope such unity continues to blossom! The work on the city will continue, as will the rehabilitation of the survivors most affected by calamity.

But today we spread our arms wide and heartily welcome summer. Today we make merry and keep our loves close. Today we celebrate an unprecedented event, two Queens and Kings!

[ She turns and walks over to the thrones, where the ladies hold crowns of roses in their laps and the men crowns of wooden antlers. She names each as she settles the crowns atop their heads. ]

Queen Galadriel. King Zelos. Queen Lucrezia. King Robb.

[ In playful deference, Anne will lift her skirts and curtsy to the four of them when they stand to announce that the festivities begin! ]

{ Maypole Dance || Dance Floor || The Feast || Music & Donations || Maze & Wine Fountain || Bonfire }
onlyanapple: (Hawt)
[personal profile] onlyanapple
[Today, Crowley is setting up tables and chairs in the Nines. He's already waved his hand, with a thought clearing away the dust of the place. It had been a while since he'd been here, but he knew Barney would approve of its use today. Crowley opens his journal to dictate into it]

So, people. I've got an activity for you all. It's a game, one we haven't played here in Paradisa for some time. It's called Never Have I Ever. The way you play is simple. People gather in a place with lots of alcohol. Someone states something that is true about themselves, that they haven't done, such as "Never Have I Ever got drunk and passed out' and so on. Those playing who have done such a thing, have to take a shot. Then you move onto another player and the game repeats until everyone is hammered or bored.

So if you feel like playing, do come to the Nines bar, room 722. I'll even be nice and have soda for the younger players. But if they come out of this mentally scarred that's their own problem.

[[OOC: This is a total open post for characters to mingle and play. Make your own statements, react to others, have fun and make some new CR! Or learn some things about old CR]]
onlyanapple: (Watching with great interest)
[personal profile] onlyanapple
Lana )

Morgana )

Spike )

[That done, Crowley dictates idly into the journal]

You know, I'm almost sad. There was no nudity in this movie lock in. I guess that's what happens when you cut Bad Girl out of the picture. Such a same, really. It would have made things interesting.
onlyanapple: (Burny)
[personal profile] onlyanapple
Casa De Guts )

[That done, Crowley will spend the rest of his time doodling stupid crap in his journal. BORED BORED BORED BORED.

Oh look, it's a dolphin with a top hat and monocle. And another of a T-Rex on a moped

Fucking hell, I need a vodka.

[[ooc: Journal and open to the people trapped in the theatre]]
onlyanapple: (Humans are bastards)
[personal profile] onlyanapple
Well, well, this has been an interesting few days, hasn't it? All that chaos and embarrassment, and I didn't even have to lift a finger. Sometimes I think this castle is after my job. I'm not sure if I should feel flattered or threatened.

Anyway, for those of you idiots who haven't caught on yet, the journals are broken. But if you feel you really must pour all your thoughts and feelings into a magical book that is connected to the magical thought that kidnapped you, then go right ahead. Honestly, it's like being surprised that the rabid dog has bitten you.

[It hasn't stopped him writing all the little secrets in a notebook, though. Never know when they might come in handy]

Still. Thanks for the entertaining week, Paradisa. You've all been great.

Incidentally, as I promised I would, the answer to my riddle: The couple hear of the deadly scorpions that lived in the area, and put a glass of vodka under each foot of their child's crib. Scorpions don't like alcohol as they have no class.
onlyanapple: (I think you need professional help)
[personal profile] onlyanapple
Felix )

Casa De Guts )

[That hard work done, Crowley settles in his favourite chair with a glass of wine and his open journal]

Here, Paradisa, have a riddle. I feel it's a riddle sort of day.

A couple feared for the safety of their child, so they went out and bought four glasses and a bottle of vodka. Why?
onlyanapple: (No just no)
[personal profile] onlyanapple
Honestly, you take a small nap for a couple of weeks and the whole place goes down the pan. You people honestly can't be left alone for five minutes, can you?

[He'll give a scoff, flicking through the journal pages]

Not that I actually care or any bollocks like that, but people I don't hate: are any of you dead and/or left to greener pastures? I need to update my address book.

[Then, carefully, he'll start to write...]

RESOLUTION #1 - I will learn not to -

[There's a tap of a pen, then a sigh. He can't do it. Not without the angel]

Nope. It's not the same.
onlyanapple: (Snow)
[personal profile] onlyanapple
[Crowley is distinctly unimpressed by the cooling temperatures and the falling snow. The Bentley's been frozen in and everywhere is cold, and so, he sounds distinctly unimpressed as he dictates into the journal]

Bugger this for a lark. I'm hibernating early. Someone wake me up when everything stops going into the deep freeze.

Those of you playing the game? Keep your tallies, I expect good results when I wake up.
onlyanapple: (Your emotions amuse me)
[personal profile] onlyanapple
[So, Crowley is sitting in the lobby today, tossing a nutcracker up and down in the air idly, waiting. Waiting for what? Well, you. He does so love this time of year. It's a big boost to his net amount of evil, sort of like a Christmas bonus really. If Hell gave Christmas bonuses.

They don't.

He dictates cheerfully into the journal

It's that time of year again. And, as tradition dictates, I'm offering the chance for anyone who wishes it to play a little game. Whoever kisses the most people by the time these fun little guys vanish gets a crate of alcohol of their choice, and bragging rights for the rest of the year. There aren't any rules, except don't lie about how many people you've kissed. I'll know and that is no way to win.

So. Who wants to play?

[[ooc: Open for planned and unplanned kisses!]]


paradisa: (Default)

January 2015