[One of the few positive things about this entire situation, in Conan's opinion, was that he was living alone. None of the people who concerned themselves about him were rude or determined enough to intrude on his room.
Except for Dairine. But he hoped that the security alarms he just finished installing would slow her down at least. Until he could figure out how she kept managing to sneak into his room.
But for the most part he actually had privacy when he wanted to be alone. And as so often happened, the moment he was alone his thoughts turned to Ran. About how long she had been waiting for him. About the lies he was forced to tell her, and the words he wanted more than anything to tell her. The words that he could only tell her with his own voice.
Slowly, without even realizing he was doing so, he begins to sing.
Horribly, horribly out of tune. Not a single note is anywhere close to being on key. ]
♫Where am I today? I wish that I knew
'Cause looking around there's no sign of you
I don't remember one jump or one leap
Just quiet steps away from your lead
I'm holding my heart out but clutching it too
Feeling this short of a love that we once knew
I'm calling this home when it's not even close
Playing the role with nerves left exposed ♫
[As he goes on, his voice gets more plaintive and depressed. And even less in tune, if that's possible.]♫Standing on a darkened stage, stumbling through the lines
Others have excuses, but I have my reasons why.♫
[He had reasons. They were good reasons. He knew that. But somehow, when she was crying they never seemed good enough. He sighs and starts on the next verse,]
♫ We get distracted by dreams of our own
But nobody's happy while feeling alone
And knowing how hard it hurts when we fall
We lean another ladder against the wrong wall
And climb high to the highest rung, to shake fists at the sky
While others have excuses, I have my reasons why ♫